Editor Joy

Where Are All the Writers?

2012-02-13T15:55:00.000-06:00

photo courtesy of shutterhacks

Recently, I did a book review at my local SCBWI chapter's monthly meeting. I'm always inspired and informed at our meetings, but this time I walked away with two significant inspirations:

1. I was encouraged to polish an old manuscript and submit it for a manuscript critique at the SCBWI OK spring conference (and I did!). I'll blog about it after I get the critique back. I actually surprised myself at how excited I was to write something I was proud of.

2. I was inspired with a new blog topic (read: today's blog).

The big discussion topic for the meeting was the upcoming spring conference and why the registration numbers are so low (and why they were low back in the fall too). We began by brainstorming ways to get the word out. It became clear to me that the target age of the conference attendee audience is a large factor. For the most part, I believe the conference is targeting teachers and older adults who have always considered writing a book but never done anything about it. Therefore, most of the discussion at the meeting concentrated on print and television advertisements. Personally, I think social networking should be the focus of their advertising, and I think it would bring in a fresh wave of younger writers.

The frustration with the low numbers was palpable, but no one really could put their finger on why the numbers have shifted so much in the last year. Drawing from my recent clients, I suggested that maybe the surge in self-publishing was the reason people didn't feel the need to come to conferences anymore. It was like a light went on in the room, and soon everyone was buzzing about print on demand and people they knew who published a book (but probably didn't make any money off of it).

As an editor, most of my business comes from people wanting to self-pub. And, to be honest, I've turned away a lot of business for people who wanted to self-pub. I believe self-publishing has its place--primarily with people who have a significant market they know they can sell their product to (e.g., itinerant ministers who have a merch table with them wherever they speak). But there are a lot of people out there who want to see their names on the cover of a book, so they think they can be the exception and self-pub to make some money and break into the world of published authors.

I understand how hard it is to trek down the "traditional publishing" road. I know there's a lot of time, rejection, time, disappointment, and, of course, the time factor lurking on both sides of the road; and I realize that the obstacles appear insurmountable. But I also know something else that trumps all of that--when you get your first book contract, you get a big check (I realize big is relevant, but no matter how small you think your advance is, it will, more than likely, make a self-pub's profits look minuscule).

The benefits of self-publishing are short and sweet--you can see your name printed on a book in a relatively short amount of time. It will probably cost you a lot of money (probably more than you'll make back, unless you have an established market); and it will be more trouble than you are expecting. But, yes, your name will be on the cover of a book that you can show off to your friends and grandchildren.

Let me be frank:
1. The quality of your book will be significantly better if you publish through the traditional route (unless you're willing to spend thousands of dollars to get a professional editor and graphic designer to work with you--thousands is not an exaggeration. You get what you pay for in editing and design).
2. The world is a much smaller place, so finding the information you need to get an agent or publishing house to pick you up is easier than it's ever been. If you don't find the information you need, it's either because you don't know how to surf the Internet, or you're lazy.
3. A publisher should pay you for your book, not the other way around.
4. You need help. Just because you write a book doesn't mean it's publishable.
5. If you plan to self-publish, contrary to popular belief, you definitely should be investing in writing conferences and getting involved with local writers in your area. Getting your name on the cover of a book is only a small step in the publishing world. There's so much more you need to learn to be successful (i.e., to make money), and these conferences are your shortcut to getting a leg up on your competition.

Enter my not-so-subtle plug for the upcoming SCBWI OK conference. For the small amount of money you pay to attend the conference, you get to skip weeks of surfing the web to find all the information you need to get published neatly packaged in a day's worth of conference sessions; and you get an opportunity to submit to all of the publishing houses represented at the conference, which are normally closed to un-agented submissions (that's worth the price of admission right there). For a few dollars more, you can have a professional critique your WIP, again, skipping weeks of research and study you would've had to have done perusing blogs, Twitter accounts, and more figuring out what's popular right now, where your manuscript fits into the current market, and how you can make it better (please note, the deadline for submitting a manuscript critique is tomorrow--February 14).

I realize SCBWI focuses on writing for children, and there are many who read my blog who aren't interested in writing for children. The rules are the same. Just find a conference for writers in your area, get plugged in with other writers, and start doing your research online. With today's social media, there is no excuse for wasting your time submitting an inappropriate manuscript to an agent or publishing house.

Okay, lots of soap boxes in this post. I think I need to do more blogging about the research I've done on the publishing world. There's just too much good information not to share.

Two questions I leave you with:

1. Why do you think conference registration numbers are low (e.g., marketing, self-publishing, the economy, etc.)?
2. What are you favorite online sources for current publishing information?

Disposables Can't Keep Up

2012-01-09T19:48:00.001-06:00

I am a classic Type-A mama. I've got my to-do lists, my routines, and my schedules. I love to plan, and I stay very busy. Minutes don't get wasted in my day. I'm a problem solver. When there's a problem, I fix it. Right away. I don't wait around for someone else to fix said problem, and I hate it when I ask for help and the so-called experts know less than I do. But my biggest pet peeve is when I use a product that only has one function, and when that function isn't working, that product is useless. Useless product = a waste of money that I have no control over.

Many of my readers know that I'm a cloth-diapering mama. I have sung its praises over and again, and I have guided many along in their quest to begin using cloth diapers. (Read this post for my most helpful FAQ blog about cloth diapering.) I started three years ago because I saw the potential for saving money and controlling which substances constantly rub on my baby's bum. What I've recently come to appreciate is the fact that any pee/poop challenge I encounter along the way, I can find a solution. (Disposable diapers don't afford me that luxury.) Right now, my challenge is a heavy wetter. I've read through friends' (who use disposables) threads on FB asking for solutions to heavy-wetter problems, and the answers boils down to only one option--get up and change the sleeping baby in the middle of the night. Ugh. No, thank you.

I've got a heavy wetter who soaks through disposables at night like a champ, but the solutions to my challenge are numerous in the cloth-diapering world. Right now my daughter, who has a protruding belly that could rival Buddha, wears a diaper to bed that basically balances out her belly in front with a ginormous fluffy bum in the back. Watching her waddle through the hallway in her PJs will bring a smile to the stubbornest of haters. It's really that cute. But more importantly, it's under control and doesn't cost me more money.

I start with a BumGenius pocket diaper, trifold a Hemp Babies insert, and stuff it in the pocket under the full-size insert. Then I layer another Flip cover over top of the BG just to keep it all together and add extra protection. Voila! Dry baby in the morning. Problem solved quickly, and I didn't lose money on useless product along the way--easy and inexpensive.

So, while I started cloth diapering because I wanted to save money and keep yucky chemicals away from my baby's bum, I've found that cloth diapers offer even more benefits:

1. I get to sleep through the night. Ahhh.
2. If my baby wakes up soaked in the morning (yes, she's that heavy of a wetter--we love our agua in this house), then I have other options to try or more layers to add. I don't have to (excuse my cliche, no pun intended) throw the baby out with the (quite dirty) "bath" water. I get to keep my baby, my diapers, and I can always find a solution. Even if I reach a wall in my limited knowledge of cloth diapering, through the networking I've done online, I always have a cloth-diaper mama with an answer who's only a few clicks away. Or I can get on Cotton Babies' website (my favorite source for cloth diapers and accessories) and find answers in their forums, on their live chat, or by calling their helpful customer service.

Disclaimer: I have not received any sort of compensation for this post, but I am entering the content of this blog in this contest.

Confessions of an Addict

2011-10-25T16:09:00.004-05:00

Dear Readers,

It's been too long. I've seen many of you have been frequenting my blog even in my absence. Thank you to the faithful! I have to admit, I have been focusing my creative energy in other places, mainly Pinterest (If you need an invite, message me your email address). Does this even count as an outlet for creative energy? I'm just clicking and repinning the stuff I like. BUT, despite my hubby's daily tirades that Pinterest is of the devil, I feel my life has been enhanced. I have many many projects about the house inspired from Pinterest. And I feel like I'm reading more blogs (instead of less) because of it. It's like a pictorial guide to all blogs, and more often than not, I'm lead to blog posts I wouldn't have found on my own yet they cover topics I'm extremely interested in.

For example, food. I've been cooking and baking. A. Lot. Yikes. Calorie counting beware. I feel like all bets are off during fall. The pumpkins. The apples. The squash. The cooler weather that begs me to turn my oven on. Ahhh. I love it.

So, if you need a little inspiration and a new outlet for your creative energy (I refuse to repin the "Thank you, Pinterest, for helping me feel creative even though I've really been sitting at my computer for three hours" because it's not true), here are some links to my favorite boards right now:

Party Ideas (From decorations to food to themes, ahh, inspiration!)

Homeschool Activities (Mainly preschool stuff but really a little bit of everything including some Montessori-inspired pictures that I adore)

Pumpkins and Red Maple Leaves (Everything fall)

Gift Wrap (DIY ideas for wrapping gifts, making cards, and free printables)

Dinner (Recipes, recipes, recipes. If I've already made the recipe, I've commented below it with my evaluation and suggestions for next time)

Enjoy. And go jump in a pile of leaves. I just love this season.

*photo courtesy of jinterwas

Living Simply

2011-07-21T14:24:00.004-05:00

photo courtesy of Horia Varlan

Lately, I've been dwelling a lot on the concept of living simply. I read stories like this of people who limit their possessions to 100 items or less, and I wonder if I'm capable of the same. I don't see any need to do something this extreme, but the principle of reducing, refusing, and rejiggering is appealing.

If you strolled through my home, you'd see a severe lack of toys. Despite the fact that I have two young girls, my house is not overrun with plastic or large toys. I prefer to buy things that stimulate the imagination and leave room for creativity rather than dead-end items that only have one purpose or character to each. Sure, my daughters love going to friends' homes and excitedly running/crawling from toy to toy trying new buttons that flash and make noise and rolling around new characters they don't see often in their own home. And I'm completely fine with that. It's new and exciting for them, and I love to see them experience new things.

Despite friends' toys' newness, I cannot think of a single item in the last three years that my daughter has chosen to cling to, cry for, or desperately want after we leave our friends' homes. In fact, most toys she plays with at others' homes only hold her attention for a few short moments before she's on to the next one. Playtime is generally a race to touch every new toy in the room before leaving.

We've all heard parents lament the high-ticket items they were so excited to buy for their children only to find that a bucket filled with water and other cups and bowls, or an empty box provided hours and hours of child-preferred entertainment. This only reinforces my desire to keep only meaningful toys in our home. Perhaps this will change as the girls get older, but my desire is that the principle will never leave them--money can't buy happiness; enjoy life in the now and the people who surround you.

All this to say, while I make it a regular routine to clear out our toy baskets and throw away unused toys or cheap kid's meal prizes, I see a great disconnect to extend that routine to every other area of my home. With our house for sale, we've filled a rather large storage unit with all of our "unnecessary" stuff to de-clutter our home for show. I can count on one hand, actually, one or two fingers, the number of times I've had to go back to the unit to get something out that I needed. Naturally, this makes me wonder why I needed all that stuff in the first place.

If our home does sell quicker than we find a new one, we've contemplated switching to an apartment temporarily. To be honest, this idea thrills me--a life of less. Less bills. Less cleaning. Less clutter. Less responsibility. It sounds divine, doesn't it? And since my daughters thrive both in the home and outside doing activities of all sorts, I have no doubt they'll conform well to a change toward simplicity.

What are your thoughts, dear readers? Are you appalled at my hypocrisy to simplify my daughters' lives and yet hoard useless items of my own? I'll be honest; I am appalled at myself. And I have every intention of having a huge moving sale once our house sells. Even though I had to put all my stuff in storage to realize how little it means to me, at least I've taken that step, and now I'm ready for the next. How about you?

Need Help!

2011-07-18T14:22:00.002-05:00

Dear Lovely Readers,

My daughter is less than two months away from a big diet change to more table food and less monochromatic (i.e., boring) food. She's doing great eating well--almost too well. My grocery bill is growing in leaps. This girl consumes A LOT of food at each meal. So, I'm looking to you for some new, fresh ideas. Here are the big players in our daily diet right now:

Sweet potatoes

Black beans

Avocados

Bananas

Mangoes

Blueberries

Strawberries

Raspberries

Broccoli

Peas

Carrots

Zucchini

Watermelon

Almonds

Coconuts

I'm staying away from rice and flour until age one. She's tried yogurt, but it made her break out, so she's off that until she turns one. Any ideas? Snack ideas are especially welcome.

Thanks so much!

Birdie Birthday Party

2011-06-22T13:40:00.000-05:00

I've decided the earliest age to throw a big birthday party is three. Up until now, birthdays were fun, but they were not something my daughter anticipated, got excited about, or really understood in the moment. This year that all changed. I talked it up a lot this year to help her prepare. (Talking my daughter through future events really helps prepare her to get the most out of a situation. I'm not sure if this is universal with children her age or if it's just because she's so shy, but she always does better when she knows what to expect.)

For the past few months, we have been watching the birds through a big picture window by our dining room table. I started to explain what a birdhouse and birdbath were, and she told me she wanted them. I told her she could ask for them for her birthday, so every time someone asked what she wanted for her birthday, she said, "I want a birdhouse and a bath for the birdies." This made picking a party theme easy (and a present theme, for that matter).

My newest addiction is Pinterest. It's THE answer to the question, "What do I do with my old magazines if I don't want to throw them out?" Don't read magazines anymore. Find everything online and save your favorite stuff on Pinterest. You can organize your boards by themes and pin your favorite pictures/inspirations together. Each picture will link back to its original source, so if there's a recipe, DIY project, or more details that you're looking for, all you have to do is click on that picture. Never again do I need a magazine or a notebook.

I. LOVE. It.

And I love snooping through other people's boards to get new ideas. So, I started a party board (this link will only work if you have a Pinterest account. If you want to start one, message me, and I'll send you an invite), and I pinned all my favorite decoration and favor ideas there. I didn't use everything, and I've added a lot of other random party stuff since, but I'm really excited about the results.

The party was a smashing success, and my daughter even thanked me for it afterward. Sigh. Perfect. Enjoy!

Activity: Paint-Your-Own Birdhouses. I found these cheapest at Hobby Lobby with either a coupon or when the unfinished wood was 40 percent off.

This was my favorite area. The bunting is a handmade gift from a dear friend. We have used it over and over again in our home. The DIY egg-carton flowers tutorial is here.

Scattered throughout the trees were these hanging lanterns. The tutorial is here.

My amazing dad, Eric The Balloonman, is a handy resource for birthday parties! These balloon columns were all him. They really made everything look magical. Thanks, Dad!

Cupcakes courtesy of Sam's Club. I can't recommend them enough. Beautiful. Delicious. Cheap. I'm gushing. Seriously.

Let the party begin! Birdhouse painting was a huge success, but I made the mistake of not checking to make sure all paint was washable. Good thing most of the invitees were boys who could take off their shirts ;-)

My hottie hubby (no pun intended) slaved over the grill most of the party. It was in the mid-to-upper nineties for the party, which made the grill the least likely place to want to spend your time. He's my hero. He didn't complain once.

If you want people to attend/stay at your party, my personal belief is you must feed them. And feed them we did!

There was no shortage of help unwrapping presents. Smile.

A few of my favorite shots of the birthday girl.

And one of my favorite shots from the entire party--the aftermath. Party = complete success.

All photos courtesy of my talented mama, Judy. Thanks, Mom!

Baby Food Part 4 . . . and some news!

2011-06-17T15:17:00.008-05:00

I'm back! Sorry for the delay between posts. I have some very exciting news, which semi-justifies my delay--we're selling our house! My hubby and I know it's the right time, so we've been working faithfully to de-clutter and spruce up our home. I always vowed I wouldn't save updates to do on my house until I get ready to sell--why not update while I'm living there and enjoy some of the fruit of my labors, right? Well, that has panned out to making the transition to sell a fairly straightforward process. If my hubby weren't working over sixty hours a week, we could've been ready to go in a matter of a couple of weeks, but with a hubby who's not home much (and when he is, he's justifiably exhausted), two little ones under my constant care, and a semi-normal existence, it's been a challenge to get anything, no matter how small, done in a reasonable amount of time.

photo courtesy of kevindooley

Of course, this naturally begs the question, where are you moving to? The answer is simply, I don't know. We're looking for some change--either closer to everything we love in the city, or possibly land on the outskirts. With as little free time as we have, we've decided to take things ONE STEP AT A TIME. First step, prep the house to sell. Second step, find a realtor and put the house on the market. Finally, start doing some research about where we want to live.

Okay, I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, here are some more baby food suggestions and hints I've picked up in the midst of transitioning my baby from nursing to solids.

1. Taste the food you're giving your child. If you don't like it, don't give it to him/her. This is especially true with jarred baby food. Thankfully there's a great new alternative that we've been taking full advantage of--baby food in a squeeze pouch. It's re-sealable so you can use the leftovers later. There's no spoon needed--just squeeze the food into your baby's mouth. And when he/she gets older, he/she can feed himself/herself. My baby's a little over nine months, and she's already got the pouches mastered on her own.

You've got to do some shopping to get the good prices. Our favorite brand right now is Happy Tot because it's organic, tastes really good, and the packaging is BPA free. (Although the new studies on how people are able to so quickly making plastic products BPA free is a bit disturbing. For more information, read this.) We can find Happy Tot in some of our Targets, but not all of them. And it's way cheaper than Plum Organics. Happy Tot also went on sale at Babies R Us recently, so that's a good place to watch. But, the best prices are on Amazon--sign up to be an Amazon Mom, and then use the "Subscribe and Save" option instead of checking out through your cart--there are also occasional discount codes available too).

2. It's easy to feed your baby sweet fruits and sweet orange veggies, but give green a try! Spinach has been really easy for me to incorporate. I can blend raw baby spinach in fruit smoothies, and none of my family--even the big kids (hubby included) are any wiser. I can rub baby spinach with sea salt, drizzle with olive oil, and chop with some kalamata olives, and my nine-month old will eat it without hesitation. As I've mentioned before, I try to incorporate raw foods into my baby's diet as much as possible, and I've found that blending pears and spinach, or apples and spinach is really easy, really healthy, and my baby loves it!

Oh, and I use my Magic Bullet to make all my baby food--it really is magical. Another tip, if it's not blending right away and you need to add some liquid, use coconut water. It has so many more nutrients and good stuff in it than just plain tap water. My firstborn used to drink bottles of coconut water with her meals. She loved it. My second born isn't as excited, but she doesn't mind it blended in her food.

3. As I mentioned before, I'm following Gabriel Cousens's guide to raw baby food. To give you an idea of how we started things, I've give you a really abbreviated list of foods we used. To get the whole list, you'll have to buy the book.

At six months we used a lot of bananas, coconut water, mangos, pears, cucumbers (peeled & blended) and avocados.

LOTS of avocados!

At eight months we added some almonds (soaked and blended with fruit they make DELICIOUS porridges), grapes, olives, and more. Nine months is when we added more greens--kale, spinach, and more. And like I said, you really just need to buy the book to get the full lists and the delicious recipes. Seriously, I eat any leftovers of the recipes I make from this book. They are so yummy!

4. We talked about the dirty dozen before. I want to give you one more tip about using produce that will really set you up for success--and it will help you actually use all of the produce you buy. I think I heard this first on the Rachel Ray show. Wash/soak your produce as soon as you get home and unload the groceries. My routine is to unload groceries. As I'm unloading, I stack all the produce that needs to be soaked by the sink. Once my counters are clear again, I fill my sinks with an apple cider vinegar/purified water mix, and I throw everything in the sinks and let them soak for 30-60 minutes. Bam! It's all washed, so I don't cringe when pulling it out and grumbling as I wash it while rushing to make a meal. Bam! It's ready to eat, so I can just pop it in my mouth when I need a snack.

This is a pretty average supply of produce for one week (about two sinks' full).

What are your baby food tips? I'd love to hear what you've used, what you've found effective, and what you'd recommend to others just starting.

**Coming soon--pictures and details about my daughter's three-year birdie birthday party!

Baby Food Part 3--First Foods, Raw Foods & Keeping It Affordable

2011-05-26T08:52:00.000-05:00

So far I've already covered my previous failures and some disturbing new info about feeding babies, in part one of my baby food series. If you're looking for a happier success story and a great formula alternative, check out part two.

And now on to the food!

Most of my baby food journey has been dictated by Rainbow Green Live-Food Cuisine by Gabriel Cousens, MD. This book is all about raw food, and it has a handy-dandy baby-food section in the back. I, myself, am not a completely raw foodie. In fact, it's a smaller percentage of my diet than I'd like to admit, but that is a long story that I will probably blog about another time. Let's just skip to the end where I see the health benefits of raw food and wish to incorporate those things into my children's lives as much as possible. I don't expect, nor want, them to be completely raw either. But I do want them to appreciate the value it plays in their diet and be willing to incorporate it as much as possible. Plus, raw flavors are so strong and so delicious, I don't want my children's senses so deadened by synthetic processed food that they don't appreciate natural food in its purest form.

Soap box over.

I've been following the guide in the back of Cousens's book for a few reasons:

1. I know it's a great start for my baby's digestive and immune system, and I truly believe these first foods are important to setting my kids up for health success.

2. Since I'm making small portions, the price is even more manageable than it is for me.

3. Everything tastes delicious. If my baby doesn't eat it, I will!

But it's so expensive, right? Here's a bunch of little tips to saving lots:

1. Buy organic based on the "dirty dozen." Add carrots to that list. Gardeners use carrots to clean the soil. Carrots naturally pull the toxins out of the soil--great tip for if you want to clean up your garden; the main reason you don't want to eat conventional carrots! If it's not on the dirty dozen list, then go ahead and buy conventional. Depending on where you live, places like Aldi and Trader Joe's sell produce for insanely cheap prices, making healthy eating really affordable. Also, there are tons of veggie wash recipes available online--or you can make it as simple as soaking your produce in apple cider vinegar/water, or rubbing your produce down with grapefruit extract to get it clean and pesticide free.

2. Take some time to learn your stores. I know the prices and availability of all organic and natural ingredients available from all of the stores in my area, not just the health stores. You can find a lot in Wal-mart and Target nowadays, but they aren't always the cheapest. If it's a store you don't frequent often, be sure to stock up on your favorite items when do go there. A lot of stuff is cheap on Amazon too!

3. It's summer time! Shop the farmers markets in your area. The more local, the less steps between field and your plate.

4. Coupon. Go to coupon classes, even if you don't think they'll apply to healthy eating. You'll be surprised what you can learn about making your shopping more affordable. (E.g., Whole Foods has double-flyer Wednesdays where there are basically two sales going on simultaneously. Match that with coupons off their website doubled with manufacturer coupons and buy in bulk to get their case discount, boom! That's a lot of savings. I save a lot just sticking to their bulk bins too.)

5. If you keep eating the same junk you've always eaten and just want to provide healthy stuff for your baby, you're setting yourself up for failure. First of all, stocking a healthy and junky pantry is expensive. Second, you won't stick with the healthy food because the junky food is much, much more convenient.

6. Get educated. Know what processed foods, dairy, high fructose corn syrup, artificial dyes, fragrances, heavy-meat diets, and more do to your body. When you know what you're doing to you/your baby's body, you'll think twice before you buy/eat it. If you live in intentional ignorant bliss, you will easily derail.

7. Get support. Surround yourself with other people who are committed to eating/feeding their children properly. There's strength in numbers.

More specifics on which foods I started my baby on next time.

Baby Food Part 2--Formula Alternative

2011-05-23T08:16:00.000-05:00

photo courtesy of healthaliciousness

When I started my baby food journey with my first, we had a less-than-happy time trying to find the right balance. I also tried making almond mylk which is a legitimate substitute for infant formula--please note that I'm not talking about the almond milk you buy in the store--that stuff is full of sodium. Here's a recipe for what I tried making:

Almond Mylk:

1 C raw almonds soaked 4-6 hours in purified water, drain before mixing
3 C coconut water (you can get from young thai coconuts available at Whole Foods, easy to open and fairly cheap . . . or you can get it in the drink section at WF in boxes).

Process all ingredients in blender until smooth. Can warm for babies to same temp as mother's milk. Don't overheat. Let it cool. (I had to pour this through cheese cloth to get the almond grit out).

When I made this recipe, I didn't have a lot of hope for making it work, and I was really overwhelmed with the price of the ingredients I was buying. Three years later, I now know my way around the health food store a lot more, and I know the cheapest organic/raw food prices from box stories to specialty stores. My point is that your success with this recipe is all about attitude. I had a skeptical attitude when I made it, so I was looking for reasons for it not to work. When you're looking for an excuse to fail, you'll always find it.

With my second baby, my supply started to wane around four months again, but this time I did things differently:

1. I demand fed during the day. The more I nursed, the more supply I had for the next feeding.

2. I drank lots of water and went to a fruit/veggie-heavy diet.

3. I took the supplements--all of them. I didn't skimp on them this time. I even drank the nasty tea.

I would've used the almond mylk, but I didn't end up needing it. We made it to six months on breast milk only!

My baby's first-food details coming up in part three.

Baby Food Part 1

2011-05-18T12:50:00.008-05:00

In my transition to make healthy lifestyle, especially food-wise, a priority in my life again, I've been putting a lot of focus (and time) on my newborn's baby food. I want to give her the best start possible as she's growing and developing a healthy digestive, immune, endocrine, and all those other amazing systems affected by the food we eat.

A little history . . .

My now-toddler started crying when I finished nursing her around four months. I knew she was still hungry, but my supply just wasn't keeping up. I refused to switch to formula, so I tried a couple of things.

1. I started taking supplements that boosted my supply. They worked, but because they were so expensive, I didn't keep up with them as I should have, and my supply went back down again.

2. I tried pumping at random hours of the night. Since my hubby gets up at an ungodly hour to go to work, if I wasn't already up feeding, I got up with him and pumped.

Both helped a little but not enough. So, I decided that it was time to introduce solids. I went out and bought organic rice cereal, mixed it with what little milk I had pumped, and we were on to solids. Soon I was adding bananas, avocados, sweet potatoes, and whatever age-appropriate stage-one organic baby food I could find. I wasn't patient enough to introduce one food at a time, and before too long, her face started breaking out into circular red patches. And later they started to ooze. We switched cereal brands, switched laundry detergents, I made my own food when possible, we eliminated foods, etc., but nothing seemed to work. I finally opted for a teensy bit of steroid cream that final cleared things up. Since then we use sporadic amounts of the cream whenever her now-diagnosed eczema shows up (and it's not just on her face--it pops up everywhere).

Two important things I've learned since then:

1. Studies are now showing that babies' digestive enzymes are actually not capable of properly processing rice and oatmeal for at least the first year of their lives. Since they can't break it down properly, the body does strange things with it to try and get rid of it (e.g., eczema).

2. A good friend of ours has diabetes. He's had it since he was a kid . . . and it showed up soon after he had a steroid shot to treat a bad case of poison ivy. The doctors didn't ever tell him there was a link, but he overheard them discussing it in the hallway.

Needless to say, I've approached feeding my second newborn solids a lot differently. I'll give more details in my next blog. Stay tuned.

**photo courtesy of stevendepolo

My New Normal

2011-04-28T14:46:00.005-05:00

Photo courtesy of Vick the Viking

It's a quickie, but I wanted to check in. I got such an overwhelming response of encouragement and advice last time I blogged, I wanted to first say thank you. You gave me a lot to think about, and a lot of new ideas to try. And, there's always the value of knowing I'm not alone. We all (yes, all of us) have our fair share of mama-struggles, and more likely than not, the mamas doing life right next to us are struggling with the same things we are. So, go ahead. Reach out and hug that mama in your playgroup or the one who lives next door. I bet she needs it =)

Also, as I'm sorting out this new "normal" for my life, here are the things I'm trying to make the chaos a little more controlled:

1. I'm writing again. Editing is awesome. It (quickly) pays the bills, and it's a great fit in my busy schedule; but I'm a writer. Lately I've been longing to write. And when I go to writers' conferences and only talk about my editing jobs, I feel like a poser. I want to start submitting my work again, so it starts with writing. A little bit every day. Nothing earth shattering so far, but it feels so good to flex my writer muscle again.

2. I'm following the advice of one of my friends from my last post. I'm trying to accomplish one thing a day: 1 learning activity for my children; one area in the house to clean; one load of laundry. It's helping me feel like I've accomplished something yet keeping me from feeling overwhelmed. I'm not successful every day, but I am getting something done. That feels good.

Okay, gotta go do some writing and then tackle my one area to clean today--the garage! Love you, readers. Thanks again!

Something's Gotta Give

2011-04-18T14:50:00.003-05:00

photo courtesy of atomicjeep

I know it's been too long, and I apologize. I've been doing a lot of mental processing lately, and I just haven't made time to sit down and put it down on paper, er, computer. But here I am . . . finally!

Back when I started Editor Joy, I had a newborn baby. Just one. And I felt like I was drowning. Flailing my arms and grabbing for life supports, I could barely keep my head above water. There was so much to do, yet this little helpless infant required so much of my time. I remember desperately asking my friends how they did it, how they got anything done; and no matter what their answers, I rarely found any help or comfort (because, as I later learned, every baby AND MAMA is different).

Now, I look back at those days and laugh at my ignorant self. To think, finding one newborn to be overwhelming and drowning all of my free time. Ha!

The transition to two continues. It's already been over seven months, and while I gave myself months to establish a routine, I'm finding myself rather frustrated that seven months later, I'm not much further than I was when I only had one child to deal with--some days I feel like I've backtracked.

I know this isn't rocket science, but I can't believe I have so much less time for me now. I'm not saying this in a selfish the-world-revolves-around-me way; it's more of a it'd-be-so-nice-to-do-all-the-dishes-and-pick-up-my-bedroom-before-bed way. I just don't have time to do much else than take care of my girls.

I still sound like I'm whining. I'm not. I'm learning. And the lesson that a friend of mine told me three years ago is still kicking my butt--something's gotta give. For the first few months, I gave up (for the most part) a healthy lifestyle. Eat whatever, exercise is optional (which means it doesn't happen), and cook what's easiest. These last few months I've picked back up on the healthy lifestyle, and cleaning my house has been suffering. I tell myself that something has to give, and right now it's the house. But I have a hard time accepting that. I feel restless in a dirty house. I cringe when I see a layer of dust thick enough to write my name in. I gag when I see buildup on my cupboards from severe neglect. I know something's gotta give, but I'm waging a mad war with my type-A personality: I want to pretend I gave up something, but really I want to prove to the world that I can do it ALL. Wahahaha. haha, hehe.

Heh.

Yeah, House, 240 points; Joy, 0.

I know this is a ridiculous battle. I mean, in twenty years when my kids are grown, and I have oodles of free time on my hands, I won't look back on these years and wish I had cleaned the house more and spent less time with the kiddos. But I am really learning something about myself when I see how hard it is for me to let go of the house.

So, fellow mamas. What is it for you? What's gotta give in your life right now so you can stay afloat?

Maternity Leave

2011-03-28T21:33:00.002-05:00

It feels as though not much is getting done around the house nowadays. I've long since lost track of any sort of schedule to follow to clean my house. If laundry is picked up before guests come over, I feel pretty good about myself. The kitchen is overflowing with both dirty and clean dishes, piles of produce ready to be composted, juicer, food processor, extra food (since I don't have the luxury of a pantry), and so much more. The dust in my bedroom is embarrassingly thick. I can barely stay on top of my work. I have little or no time to myself. I haven't exercised much at all in the past few weeks. What is going on? This is not my normal. Where did I go wrong?

The more I've thought about it, the more realize I haven't gone wrong. In fact, this may be my new "normal" for now. Priorities have shifted, and for some reason I thought that when I shifted my priorities, my routine would still look exactly the same. But, the routine has morphed along with my priorities, and this chaotic thing we're told to embrace--change--has left me treading water, just trying to keep oxygen flowing to my head . . . when I actually take time to breathe.

Priorities that have shifted:

1. My girls are my number-one priority at home.

2. Eating healthy has regained a high position on my priority list. I've started incorporating more raw recipes and fresh juices into my menus; and I've cut way back on dairy, breads, and meat.

3. My baby is eating solids.

How that has affected my routine:

1. Unless it's nap time, my focus is on my girls. Housework, editing, laundry, and many other seemingly important items are no match for my toddler's request to "Come here, Mama. I want to show you something." If I'm only working during nap time, that means on a good day, I have about two-three hours to do everything else. So, I edit as long as possible, then I rush about the house trying to pick up, fold laundry, make dinner, and anything else I had on my to-do list for the day. If one girl is off on her nap schedule, all of that goes out the window.

2. Eating healthy requires more time because of the time it takes to plan meals, shop for the best-priced healthy ingredients, prepare the meals, and wash the extra appliances needed to make the food (juicer, food processor, etc.) I love how I feel. I've shed my baby weight--even the ten pounds I held on to from my first baby, and I have more energy. I love when health is a priority. Life is just, well, shiny-er, when you're eating properly.

3. I forgot how much time it would require to add three more feedings per day into my schedule (not to mention making three more meals).

As a mom, I'm more and more convinced that you should give yourself at LEAST six solid months before you try to surface in the real world again. Of course, you can maintain and appear to be leading a fairly normal life for those six months. By no means am I suggesting dropping off the planet, becoming a recluse, or anything else extreme. But you certainly need a decent amount of time to adjust to a whole other human being being a major part of your life. It really takes everything you have--your strength, your wisdom, your power, your insight, your love, everything.

It's a beautiful time, and it's a demanding time. You won't conquer the world or come up with any earth-shattering revelations during this time. But you will be doing one of the most important and powerful jobs you could possibly indulge in. You will be nurturing a new life. And that, is quite an accomplishment.

An apology

2011-03-24T15:32:00.003-05:00

A quick apology . . .

Sorry, dear readers, life has taken me by storm, and my blog has been severely neglected. I got busy with life, my kids, my work, my friends, a quick yet powerful trip to Michigan, and now a baby being introduced to solids. It's a messy life but a good one.

I will return. Soon. Very soon.

Cloth Diapers FAQ Updated

2011-02-25T14:49:00.005-06:00

Cloth diapers seem to be getting a lot of attention and consideration nowadays. I'd almost say it's becoming trendy, but it seems sacrilegious to call something that saves you money trendy. Alas, recently I've been asked a lot of questions about my cloth diapering experience, so I figured I'd do a little FAQ as a reference for all of you who may have cloth diaper questions.

Before I start, let me say there are a TON of cloth diaper options out there. If you ask people which ones they use/like, you're bound to get a myriad of answers. Having ten different cloth diaper brands thrown at you at once is overwhelming and discouraging. So, two pieces of advice for those looking to make their first purchases:

1. Don't buy everything at once. Get a couple of top recommendations and try those first. You'll probably have some disposables from showers/gifts that you can use intermittently while you figure out what works best for you.

2. Sign up for giveaways. There are always a ton of giveaways going on on Facebook and Twitter. For example The Cloth Diaper Whisperer gives away something cloth diaper every Friday on their blog. If you follow @cottonbabies, @diapershops, etc. on Twitter, they also do giveaways, especially if you RSVP and attend one of their cloth diaper Twitter parties. (There's one (#clothdiapers) I know of on Monday nights at 8 PM CST.) If you follow me (@EditorJoy) on Twitter, you can look at my lists to find more cloth diaper handles--my list is called "cloth-diapers."

Okay, FAQ time:

1. Do you recommend cloth diapers, and if so, how should I get started?

Yes, I recommend them, but . . . there are some factors to consider because they are not for everyone. First, your husband should really be on board with you about the diapers. While the mama may be doing a majority of the changing and the washing, there are times when he will be involved. If he always complains about it, it's really easy to let that drag you down. And, when there's a phenomenal blowout worthy enough to write home about, you're gonna want a cheerleader to keep you on track. Second, you will be touching poop. It's not always going to happen, and it's not nearly as bad as some would have you think (more about that later), but if someone's been telling you that cloth diapering is so easy and you won't even notice the poop, they're lying. There will be some spectacular blowouts (there would be with disposables too), and poop will get on your hands (if you're lucky, it'll just be your hands).

Okay, getting started. I am a penny pincher, so when it came time to buy cloth diapers, I opted for all one-size options. This is great once your child reaches about 14 pounds, but before that, one-size diapers look pretty clownish (and they're tricky to stuff into those cute newborn outfits).

You have two options for a successful start: 1) Start with disposables and transition to cloth diapers as your baby grows. For me, I've been showered with enough diapers with both girls that I was covered until they were big enough to fit in their one-sizes. If you're concerned about what's touching your baby's bum, I highly recommend Seventh Generation disposables. They've worked the best for me, and they're reasonably priced. I don't like any of the other chlorine-free options (I think I've tried almost all of them). 2) If you start from day-one with cloth diapers, go ahead and invest in some XS and S sized diapers. You want to get a good fit around your baby's legs and waist, or else you'll be in leak central and wanting to chuck those diapers across the room.

2. Okay, so what about the poop? (Well, I've never had the question phrased this way, but essentially that was what they were asking).

How to clean your cloth diapers:

1. Have a bucket for wet diapers and a bucket for dirty diapers. We bought a plastic bucket with a sealing lid from Lowes and set it next to the toilet--dirties go in there. We now have a big bucket with a filter on it and lined with a huge wet bag in our nursery for the wet ones, but I started with another Lowes bucket; so either works great. When the baby poops, we take the dirty diaper to the toilet and flush the poop. In the beginning, I just swirled the diaper around in the water until it was sufficently clean of all chunks. Now I have a diaper sprayer. I love my diaper sprayer and would highly recommend one, but it's not a guarantee that you won't touch poop or poopy water--I'm just being real with you--our sprayer has jet-force power, and if it's not aimed properly, all the angles you learned in geometry will be illustrated for you as poop ricochets off the diaper and onto the wall, your pants, the toilet, etc. It's gross. You need to know that.

2. After a couple of days (or when your supply is getting down to one-day's worth of diapers), both buckets get dumped into the washer. I run a large cold cycle with a tiny bit of detergent (more on detergent later)--you want as much water as possible in this cycle. Then, I run a hot cycle with more detergent. After that, I run one more cold rinse with no detergent.

3. Any cotton parts are inspected, and if they're white, they're thrown in the dryer. If they're stained, they go out to the clothesline and bask in the sun until they're naturally bleached white. Actually, it doesn't have to be a sunny day. Apparently, it's all about the UV rays. I read a post about a person in Portland who bleaches her diapers in the rain all the time. Also, all covers are hung to dry. DO NOT dry the covers. I've made this mistake. They will leak if you dry them in the dryer.

Detergent: I used to use Seventh Generation Free and Clear detergent to wash my diapers. I didn't see the need to buy a specific detergent for just my diapers. I figured it was a marketing ploy, and I refused to get ripped off (see, I AM a penny pincher). BUT then I found out "free and clear" detergents actually cause buildup on the diapers and cause them to leak. Since then I got some Rockin' Green detergent, and I LOVE it! There are giveaways for detergent all the time. Rockin' Green is on Twitter--so you can follow them to find out where the newest giveaway is.

I have never had to wipe poop residue out of my washer. I've heard people talk about that, but that's never been a problem for me. Maybe they don't rinse the diapers in the toilet first? Who knows. That's gross. Also, I have never used bleach on my diapers. Bleach creeps me out (which probably means I now creep out all my germaphobe readers, sorry). The sun is enough for me. If I ever have smell-problems with my diapers, then they get extra tanning time in the sun. Presto chango. All good again.

3. Which diapers do you use?

I love, love, love my BumGenius diapers. A lovely friend sent me one in the mail, and it was love at first poop. I have a lot of 3.0s, and one brand-new 4.0. I love the 4.0. I love the snaps (velcro will wear out--mine is in desperate need of replacement), I love the fit, and I love the resistance to stains. BumGenius diapers always look good. I have their organic, one-size all-in-ones (AIOs), and I love them, too, but they have to be line dried, which takes a long time, and when they're line-dried, they're pretty stiff. My eldest got to the point where she wouldn't put them on unless I made them soft again (usually had to cover with a pre-fold). I have a small fitted AIO diaper (which actually is not available anymore, but the XS are), and I love it! Because it was small, I could use it right away. And, as someone recently pointed out to me, there is some frugality in buying sized diapers. For example, if your idol is Mrs. Duggar, then sized diapers are for you. Since you'll be using the diapers over and over and over again, they will last longer if you use sized diapers for a short time with each kid as opposed to the entire time with each kid.

I also used pre-folds (the old-school cloth diaper you're probably picturing in your head) with Snappis and Bummi Superbrite covers. These are fine, but I'm spoiled by my other diapers, so I didn't replenish my stock when my second child came.

Another reason I love BG 4.0s is they're pocket diapers which means I'm in control of the level of absorbency. I can use the infant insert for the early months. I can use the bigger insert for when they're bigger. I can use both for overnight. And I can add hemp inserts for even more overnight absorbency.

And I almost forgot, I love the Flip system too! I've got the original and organic versions, and I love them both. The best part about the Flip system is you can reuse the covers as long as the diaper was just wet. I usually let my cover dry on top of the diaper pail until the next changing. Flip covers are also ones to keep out of the dryer--learned that the hard way.

4. Where do you buy your supplies?

My two favorite websites are www.cottonbabies.com and www.kellyscloset.com. Both have a great selection of anything you could possibly need. And there's always a coupon or sale to cash in on. Just sign up for their newsletter or follow them on FB or Twitter to stay current on their discounts.

I'm a big fan of supporting local merchants too! Find a cloth diaper merchant in your area and spend lots of money there. If you're in the Tulsa area, I've heard that Gaga on Brookside is going to start stocking cloth diapers and Rockin' Green detergent. Yay!

5. Do you travel with cloth diapers?

Travel can mean two things: 1) Do you ever leave the house with cloth diapers, or do you always switch to disposable? 2) Do you go on long trips with cloth diapers?

The answer to both is sometimes. For my first baby, I was really timid about being out of the house with a cloth diaper and a potential blowout occurring, so I heavily invested in Seventh Generation (Penny Pincher Tip: You can find coupons on Seventh Gen's site and use them in combo with discounts on Amazon Mom (sign up for it on Amazon) or diapers.com to get good prices and have the diapers delivered right to your doorstep--bonus! You can also combo Seventh Gen coupons with bulk pricing at Whole Foods and get a pretty good deal. Babies R Us also has coupons and sales pretty often).

For my second child, I'm all cloth diapers when I go out. I found it's not much different than changing a disposable blowout, so why bother dropping the extra dollars for disposable? Plus, I've found that nursery and childcare workers are being exposed more and more to cloth diapers, so they don't cringe or freak out when you leave one with them.

When I travel long distance, it's all about the accessibility to a washer and dryer (and how long I'll be gone). If I can wash and have sufficient time to dry the diapers, if need be, in the sun, then I'll take cloth. If I can wash but won't have time to dry in sun, or if I can't wash, I don't take them. Or, if I'm trying to save space in my suitcase (read: baggage fees on airlines), I'll take disposable.

6. What are your must-have accessories?

1. Wet bag. Small one (holds 2-3 diapers) to carry with you in your diaper bag. I highly recommend a wool wet bag. It takes up more room, but it naturally filters smell so poopy diapers are not stinking up your car.

2. Two diaper pails. Cheap ones from Lowes work great, but I LOVE my carbon-filter bucket.

3. Cloth diaper detergent

4. Clothesline. My hubby constructed one in our backyard for me, but you can make pretty much anything into a clothesline. A lot of people just lay their diapers out flat on a table and sun them that way.

5. Cloth-diaper-friendly diaper rash cream. I didn't know about this until my baby was well into her toddler years. The most affordable/accessible option is California Baby diaper rash cream available at Target. Other than that, I can only find stuff online.

Bonus Items:

1. Diaper sprayer. Less poop on your hands. (Plus, it conveniently doubles as a bidet or potty-training-bucket cleaner when your child has the runs or is potty training.)

2. Large wet bag--it lines my beautiful, big bucket so I can just dump the whole bag into the washer if I need to. Plus, if I do travel, I have a bag that will hold a lot of diapers.

3. Cute diapers with fun prints. There are so many options out there. Even discount sites like Zulily sometimes sell cloth diapers. Cloth diapering gets expensive when start buying diapers on a regular basis because they're so stinkin' cute. Control yourself! (But splurge a little sometimes =)

7. Do I really save money?

Click on this link for the most in-depth analysis of what cloth diapers cost versus disposables. I think this even shoots a little high for cloth diapers because you certainly can get away with less than thirty-six at a time. Regardless, you're saving a lot.

8. Where can I learn more?

The Cloth Diaper Whisperer blog is my favorite resource. I've learned SO much stuff there. Cotton Babies has a great blog on their website. And like I've said before, follow your favorite brands/stores on FB and Twitter to get even more info.

I'm sure I haven't covered everything, but that's all the valuable information I can come up with for now. Feel free to post your experiences, advice, favorite resources, links, etc. in the comments section.

Preschool Decision

2011-02-16T20:43:00.006-06:00

My Girls: My Inspiration

A couple of weeks ago my hubby and I took on the big preschool debate. I got a ton of responses both on the blog and FB from all of my dear readers. And I first wanted to say a big thank you! I really appreciated all the input everyone gave.

One friend's observation proved true with every comment I received--the people who send their kids to preschool love it; the people who keep their kids at home love it. It just reiterated to me the truth of how individual a decision this is for everyone.

After much prayer and contemplation (and lots of talking to other moms), hubby and I sat down and discussed. It came down to one factor--God's leading. We both felt we are supposed to keep the girls at home . . . we don't argue with God, especially when we both felt the same direction. After that, nothing else really matters.

The pros I see to our decision:

1. My husband and I will remain the primary influences in our daughters lives during these formative years.

2. I get to spend more time with my daughters.

3. We are always up for a play date!

4. No extra bills for the month.

5. I don't miss any firsts.

6. This will force me to flex my crafty muscle and coordinate more hands-on projects.

7. I am living out my dreams (SAHM whose first priority is raising her children)

This has also helped me prioritize other aspects of my life:

1. My girls are my priority, not my job. I need to limit the number of projects I take on because my time to work will only be when they are sleeping or out with friends or family.

2. I will start lesson planning in the fall and work on preparing my eldest for kindergarten.

3. I need to cherish each moment and relish this time together. Dishes and household chores can always be done later. When my babies want me to play with them, I am available. I've made it a personal goal to make sure I'm not saying, "In a little bit" or "Just a minute" or "Let me finish this first" too often.

4. My habits, rituals, and daily chores are a living example to my daughters--they're always there watching and observing. I need to be constantly modeling a lifestyle that sends the message that life is good, it's okay to laugh, and serving God is my choice--and He honors that choice with blessings.

A Short Gripe

2011-02-10T22:16:00.002-06:00

It's a new year, which means taxes will be due soon. How's that for a bummer beginning ;-)

I've also invested money in my fancy new logo, so I'm using the beginning of this year to reinvent my business and my business's look. Once I got my logo, I've been pasting it everywhere possible, and I even ordered fancy business cards today.

BUT when I went to put my logo on my invoices, it wouldn't work. Turns out it's not user error, it's the software. Mac Freelance, while sporting a lot of spiffy options for a very reasonable price, has turned out to be more trouble than help. I've resorted in the last couple of years to using as little as possible and just doing a lot of extra number stuff on Excel instead. I record my jobs in Mac Freelance, print an invoice, and record the check number when I get paid. There are a lot of other options, but before now I didn't care to learn them.

Well, today was a new day. I tried to learn the new options. I tried to customize my invoice to sport my cute little logo. And I got nowhere--and wasted a valuable hour of my time in the process.

So, Mac Freelance = Fail. I'm shopping for new software to make my taxes easier and my invoices customizable. Any suggestions?

Goodbye, Paci!

2011-02-07T15:22:00.001-06:00

I apologize for my absence last week. We got hit hard with the blizzard, and things just didn't go as planned. You'd think with my hubby home I'd be able to get more done, but such was not the case. I plan to blog about our preschool decision soon. I really appreciated all of your insight! Until then . . . my victory over the paci!

This is my second baby sporting her paci on day two of her life . . . she has since lost interest, and I have no desire to introduce it to her again. I'll let you know if that changes ;-)

When I found out I was pregnant and my second child would be twenty-eight months younger than my first, I immediately began a list of milestones I wanted my eldest to accomplish before this baby came along.

1. Get rid of the paci.

2. Change to a toddler bed.

3. Potty train. (Read about my attempts here, here, here, here, and when I decided to stop here.) (I'll blog about my actual success soon.)

When the baby came, I had attempted 2 & 3, but only accomplished to change to a toddler bed. Having been so unsuccessful in accomplishing my list, I gave up trying and just waited for baby #2 to come.

Baby #2 came, and many things changed with my eldest. She had spectacular public meltdowns. She couldn't seem to keep her finger out of the newborn's eye. And she started owning the term "big sister."

Lesson 1: Talk is not cheap--it's invaluable. Both getting rid of the paci and potty training were possible because of incessant talk. Any opportunity my hubby and I had, we talked about getting rid of the paci. We told her babies use pacis, not big girls. We encouraged her to throw her paci away. We called it yucky and made a big deal of every time it fell on the floor. We went overboard stressing that Baby M used a paci because she was a baby, and now it was time for A to be a big girl and throw hers away.

Lesson 2: Sugar works. I swore I would never be that mom. You know, the one who uses candy and treats laden with the evil HFCS to motivate my children to do anything. But (and I'll talk about this more with potty training), when my daughter expressed an interest in chewing gum, we added it on to the growing list of incentives of things she could do after she threw away her paci (for a while we could put off any and every thing by just saying, "If you throw away your paci, you can do that . . . and for a long time, the paci was more important). So we told her only big girls who throw away their pacis can chew gum, and that's the one that made the difference. Every time she saw gum she'd say, "I can chew that when I throw away my paci?" And, one night she said she wanted gum. We told her she'd have to throw away her paci first.

So, she went to her bed, grabbed the paci, and threw it in the bathroom trash. I made sure we made a big deal of it and said goodbye to the paci. Then I had her watch as my hubby bagged the trash and took it outside (no dumpster diving for my toddler). Then we celebrated, rejoiced, made a huge deal out of it, and let her chew a piece of gum, which she promptly chewed twice and swallowed.

She asked for it a few times after that, but since she had seen us take the trash out, we'd just ask her, "Where's your paci?" and she'd answer,

"In the trash."

And we'd explain that we couldn't get it back after it was in the trash. There was little resistance after that.

Lesson 3: Maturity is a factor. For my daughter, she needed to be able to comprehend a few key points:

1. The difference (and importance) of a big girl versus a baby

2. The concept of throwing something away

3. The concept of a reward she's never had

If she didn't understand these points, reasoning with her afterward would've been impossible.

So, goodbye, paci. I will not miss searching for you in a sea of blankets and stuffed animals. I will not miss midnight searches for you because you bounced out of bed and were hiding camoflauged on my dark concrete floors. I will not miss the shame I felt when my two year old still needed you to go to sleep. And I will not miss your high price tag (since we opted for the natural rubber kind).

My Preschool Debate

2011-01-27T10:46:00.001-06:00

I was homeschooled from first through sixth grade. I loved it, and I believe it gave me a lot of advantages for when I did enter public school. So I've always thought I'd homeschool as well, at least during the younger years. I know I'm in the minority, so I've been bracing myself for the lash back from educators and parents who would question my decision. I figured kindergarten age is either 5 or 6, so I had a good half of a decade after having my first child before I had to be ready for this debate.

I had no idea preschool would even be an issue. I guess I thought it was optional, and really, not necessary. Kindergarten is when school starts--I mean, real school, right?

So here I am with a two year old and an infant and everyone around me is putting their kids in a preschool or mother's-day-out program of some sort. And, I hate to admit this, but I panicked. I had never thought of preschool. I didn't think I had to. Since I was a stay-at-home mom, I thought I didn't need a mother's-day-out program, right? Why would I need to pay for preschool? I was staying home so I didn't have to pay someone else to raise my child.

All of the sudden the line got fuzzy, and I didn't know right from wrong (for my family). So, I told my husband all of the sides of the debate and what everyone else was saying, and I asked him to pray. I told him I'd be praying and would figure out where God's leading us, then come to him and see where he felt God was leading us (big decisions like this work best when we figure out God's direction on our own, then come together to find that we're both hearing the same thing from God--we come to a decision in very different ways: my hubby spends very little time on the issue, takes a little time to pray and listen, and comes back with his answer. I, on the other hand, have to hash everything out logically, consult with people I admire, pray, listen, make pro/con lists, etc., etc., until I come to my final decision. I find it rather amusing that we both always come to the same decision but in completely opposite ways).

Needless to say, when my friends (WAHMs, SAHMs, former elementary teachers, etc.) all started enrolling their children, I thought, "Uh oh. I've been missing something." So, for a little while now I've been researching and hashing out the pros and cons of preschool and trying to determine what's best for my children (Please note, I strongly believe this is a personal choice and something that needs to be decided on a case-by-case basis. I am in no way trying to determine if preschool is right for everyone. It's a personal decision just for my family).

Anyway, as I'm hashing it out in my mind, I thought I'd give you a peek into my own thought process and invite you to weigh in with your own experiences/thoughts.

Reasons I'd Send My Daughter to Preschool:

1. It'd give me more time to work (which is a little trickier to find this year because A is napping for half as long as she used to--so my work time has been cut in half).

2. It'd give me more quality time with my infant who's had to share me from day one.

3. It'd introduce my daughter to structure and teach her how to operate within structure.

4. It'd provide more opportunities for her to interact with other children and socialize.

5. It'd prepare her for kindergarten.

6. Everyone else is doing it.

Reasons I Wouldn't Send My Daughter to Preschool:

1. I want to raise my daughter--I don't want to pay someone else to do it.

2. She's got the rest of her life to be in school.

3. I can teach/train her at home so she's not missing out on any opportunities educationally or socially (we've got plenty of options to keep her around other kids and involved in extra curriculars).

4. I don't want to miss anything.

5. Children are influenced by the people they're around, and a big chunk of that influence would now be coming from outside sources.

6. I can always make my schedule work so that I can still work at home. It'd just be different, and different is okay.

7. I'd be doing it because everyone else is doing it.

There's my pro/con list so far. I've talked to quite a few people from all sides about the subject. And I've done a bit of praying. Now it's time for sorting. I need to sort all my thoughts, sift, stir, and sift some more and figure out where God's direction is in all of this. Why do I have to make this such a process all the time? If only I could be at peace with a decision I make after a few minutes of listening to God (like my husband). Well, I know why. I feel the need to have myself completely prepared to quiet the voices in my head when doubt, worry or fear start to come up after I've made the decision.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject. What's most important for you? I'd say my number-one reasons on both lists are really the root of my problem. When I can figure which one is more important, I'll have my answer. I'll keep you posted.

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Skip Hop Backpack Review

2011-01-24T10:00:00.000-06:00

I blinked and my baby is a toddler. I blinked again and realized all our friends have their toddlers enrolled in a mother's-day-out or preschool program. Since I've been considering homeschooling, I hadn't even contemplated a preschool program, but then my teacher friends told me the material covered in kindergarten is material I learned in first or second grade as a child. Whoa! Then I got overwhelmed and started calling preschools.

After some more consulations with friends and teachers, I'm not as overwhelmed. And even though I probably won't consider any type of program until this fall at the earliest (even though enrollment is in just a couple of short weeks), I've started to change my mindset about life at home. Every moment is a learning moment. I'm not talking about draining the fun from playing, but I am talking about maximizing on teaching moments when I'm spending quality time with my daughter.

And I've started to contemplate how I can incorporate more structure into our daily routine.

Baby step 1: Buy a backpack.

It's a small step, and it will be used for infinite possibilities, but it opens the discussion about school. Plus, it's just so stinkin' cute.

Skip Hop Backpack: Owl

When I found out I had an opportunity to review this product, I was ecstatic. Not only do I love the animal designs Skip Hop offers, but I also am a huge fan of Skip Hop products in general. My Skip Hop diaper bag is my favorite bag by far. It's like a Mary Poppins bag: you can get so much inside, and everything is easy to find and readily accessible. Needless to say, I had great expectations for the backpack.

Skip Hop offers a variety of backpack designs (dog, monkey, owl, mouse, bee and penguin)--all of them are adorable. And, bonus, matching lunchies are available too. When my backpack arrived in the mail, I was just as excited as when I ordered it online--it looks exactly like the picture. (I got the dog for my nephew too).

My daughter opened the backpack for Christmas, and she was excited to use it. Immediately she decided that she needed to pack food in it, so for the first week without fail, a cutie (mandarin orange) could be found in the main compartment.

Since then we've used it for various outings--mostly when she goes out for the day with my mom. After a month of wear, it still looks brand new. Quality construction and excellent material (just like my diaper bag) have proven valuable. The padded straps are a great fit for my toddler, not too big or small--just right to fit on her back or carry at her side. The zippers have large decorations that make it easy for tiny toddler hands to grasp and navigate on their own.

Unlike my diaper bag, it's not as roomy as I had hoped. Granted, it's made for a toddler to carry, so ten pounds of "necessary" clothing changes, snacks, pull-ups, wipes, hand sanitizer, etc., do not all fit. BUT I can easily get a change of clothes, wipes, blankie, and small cuddly toy inside. The front insulated pocket is a safe place for snacks, and the side mesh pocket for a sippy cup is also handy (it's a little small for one of our sippy cups but our Kleen Kanteen fits well). The lining is easy to wipe clean, and a good soak in the sun will keep the outside just as sanitary (but not too much sun--don't want to fade the bright colors).

Not only will this backpack stand out in a pile of bags, but it comes at a reasonable price. Compared to a lot of popular backpacks available online, Skip Hop's $20 price tag undercuts a lot of the competition without sacrificing quality.

And, as a mom who takes great care as to what toxins are present in my children's lives, knowing this bag is BPA, Phthalate and PVC free makes me want to hug this bag just a little tighter.

**Remember, if you haven't "liked" Editor Joy on FB yet, use the button on the righthand margin to "like" it right now--and tell your friends about it too. Thanks.

What I Learned This Christmas: Weight Management

2011-01-17T10:31:00.001-06:00

It's not rocket science. In fact, it's pretty logical. I first heard it on Dr. Oz, and I scoffed at the idea. But when I followed it, I found I didn't feel bloated and bulky after the Christmas season. I felt great.

What is this great weight management tip for the holidays? Don't cook anything at home. Of course, I didn't follow this 100 percent, but for the most part, I did well. I didn't bake cookies, treats, or other snacky items to take to parties. Why? Because the leftovers would've been lying around the house begging me to eat them. If they weren't stacked in the fridge, they weren't tempting me.

We made two exceptions for this rule: tiger butter and cinnamon rolls. The tiger butter was my hubby's project. It's wonderful but oh-so-not-healthy (so unhealthy I won't even admit on here what the ingredients are). Of course, none of those pieces of tiger butter went to waste, just to my waist. I also made cinnamon rolls. Holy mother of butter. Those were so worth it. And, believe you me, not a single one missed my waist either. I can't imagine if there had been more sweet treats lying around my home. Well, yes, I can imagine it, and I can imagine myself snacking on them during all hours of the day.

So, wanna feel amazing after the Christmas holidays? Keep the food in someone else's house. It's that simple. And, be willing to buy something pre-made, so you don't have to deal with the dozens of leftovers you couldn't cram on the cute Christmas plate you took to your mother-in-law's.

All of these cookies were assembled at my mom's. We took a small plate home and left her to battle the dozens of leftovers =)

What I Learned This Christmas: KISS

2011-01-13T15:09:00.001-06:00

I'm not a big crafter by any stretch of the imagination. Yes, my mom made me take sewing and cooking lessons when I was young. Yes, I appreciate them now. Yes, I'm making way more use of my sewing skills than I'd ever imagined I would. But that doesn't make me crafty.

I am a big copycat. Original craft ideas don't bloom in my head. But I can copy other people's ideas with the best of them. So, with a world of craftiness at my fingertips (i.e. the Internet), I can make almost anything.

Here's the problem with being a copycat--there's so much to copy. So, this year I decided to follow the old acronym KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid). For my friends' boys, I wanted to sew matchbox car play mats complete with roads, trees, pools of water, etc., but it would've taken me FOR-EV-ER. So, I didn't let myself start the project. Instead I looked for great toy deals online, and I picked crafts that wouldn't take a long time.

My stocking stuffers came from Babble, my new favorite source for craft, decoration, and new recipe ideas. I found it through a suggestion on FB, and it has changed my life. Here's the post that inspired my stocking stuffers: Favorite DIY Christmas Ornaments. I made the Felt Monogram Ornaments which turned out exactly like the pictures! THEN I found this:

Look familiar? They were available at West Elm, but they're already gone. =(

I also made hair bobbies for my girl friends. I unashamedly copied a clip I had seen in one of my favorite stores. Basically, I made a small fabric yo-yo, sewed a bead in the center, and sewed it onto a hair pin. Voila! I should've taken pictures for a tutorial, but I didn't. Sorry.

My friends and family loved the presents--everyone got a little something handmade. And I pumped them all out in the time it took to watch a couple of Christmas movies after my family went to bed.

Next year, it's only simple projects for me. Past that, I can find great inexpensive deals online--and those are delivered right to my door step.

KISS-ing works for me. In fact, I think it's one of my favorite things to do =)

**Remember to "like" Editor Joy on FB too (see the right column). Thanks!

What I Learned This Christmas: Photo Cards

2011-01-10T15:46:00.001-06:00

I'm pretty proud of my Christmas card for this year. I chose to make it a Christmas card/birth announcement for various reasons:

1. Most babies don't take good pictures when they're fresh from the womb. Most look like aliens, and flashes make their eyes buggy. If you give them some time and wait until Christmas, they look much cuter.

2. Immediately after baby M was born, I didn't have time or motivation to take pictures, assemble a card, gather addresses, and post a bunch of birth announcements to family and friends. Plus, they all saw her on Facebook, which takes away from the birth announcement being as much of a necessity nowadays.

3. Postage is expensive, and I married into a HUGE Mexican family. Birth announcement done right would break the bank.

4. I'm going to spend the postage for Christmas anyway, might as well take care of the baby as well.

BONUS: I don't have to be in a picture if the Christmas card is all about baby.

So, a friend of mine stumbled across this mother's pictures of her sleeping baby. Our favorite was the bookworm. So, we got together one afternoon, popped Toy Story 3 into the DVD player for the toddlers, and set to taking pix of my little one. Here's what we came up with.

Christmas dress

Hot cocoa, anyone?

Advent calendar

Santa baby

Too many lights

And this is the one that ended up on our Christmas card--my favorite!

And here's our attempt to recreate the bookworm. Tee hee hee.

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What I Learned This Christmas: New Traditions

2011-01-06T13:49:00.000-06:00

Christmas 2010 was one of the most balanced Christmases I have ever experienced. To be honest, the peace of it all caught me by surprise. I expected hustle and bustle and holiday stress, but this year panned out a lot differently. I'm devoting my first few posts back to a series I'm calling "What I Learned This Christmas."

First of all, let's talk about traditions. There are a lot of traditions my family has followed and I have carried on to my family. For example:

1. Collecting ornaments wherever we travel so that decorating the Christmas tree results in a trip down memory lane. (Be sure to label your ornaments--when you got them and anything special that's connected with that trip; otherwise you will forget--I'm not even that old!)

2. Cutting down our own Christmas tree. As a child, my family would team up with two other large families, pile into an assortment of vans and minivans, and head to Eby Pines to cut down our Christmas tree the weekend after Thanksgiving. Once the trees were all piled in a trailer, the kids would perch on the sides and belt Christmas songs while we drove to the front to pay. Good times.

Here in Tulsa, there's only one Christmas tree farm I know of that's relatively close. This is great for Owasso Tree Farm's business, but not so great for selection this year. There were so few trees to choose from, we opted for a pre-cut tree.

Big mistake. The tree was dead and withered within two weeks. How did this take away from the stress of the holidays? Well, I was so ready to get rid of the tree that I felt no guilt when I pulled it down on December 26th. I feel refreshed when I move large objects out of my home and reorganize. Am I alone?

New Traditions that didn't add a lot of stress but did add fun:

1. Decorating Christmas cookies with the kids at my mom's house. My mom did a fabulous job of preparing for this event (anything involving two toddlers is an event). She had three simple recipes picked out ahead of time. She had all the ingredients out (and measured if necessary). And she picked recipes that were relatively safe to eat if not cooked (my daughter LOVES to eat as she cooks. Sticks of butter are her favorite--where did I go wrong?) Baking cookies at someone else's house meant I didn't have dozens of yummy treats setting around my home tempting me to have "just one more." I know I spared myself a couple extra pounds because of this. Plus, the kids had a blast.

2. Baking cinnamon rolls from scratch for Christmas morning. I did NOT save myself any poundage with this recipe (or the piles of leftovers taunting me from my fridge). BUT these were a smash. AND I gave away a few trays of rolls as Christmas presents and scored major love and requests for upcoming holidays. We usually make pancakes Christmas morning, which I love; but we make pancakes on a pretty regular basis, so this was a new special treat. Did I mention it provided extra Christmas presents?

3. Simplifying my Christmas lists. I decided to follow Design Mom's guide for buying presents for our kids: something to wear, something to read, and something to play with. I really think this is going to help us avoid a lot of conflict or "that's it?"-attitudes later. Plus, it makes my gift-buying much more focused. And, I loved picking out a book for each girl (something I'm ashamed to admit I don't often do--we get most of our reading from the library).

Overall, I found the less commitments I made, the less stress the holidays brought. It's a nice change to have two little ones as an excuse to not attend/be invited to a lot of holiday functions. Family time is the best. Plus, since my hubby works two jobs, and his hours go through the roof in December, we cherish any time we can spend with him after a long December of only seeing his sleeping face.

Happy New Year

2011-01-03T23:06:00.004-06:00

Despite my lack of posts during the holiday season, I have been busy dreaming about how to expand my business. One of my biggest steps is hiring a design company to create a logo for my freelance writing and editing business. Editor Joy will now be branded in your mind with my friendly smiling e. What do you think of the new look?

I've started a Facebook page too. Social networking at its best, right? So now you can "like" me on FB, follow me on Twitter, and check in on my life on my blog. The blog will continue to follow my journey of being a WAHM, but I also will be adding some, ahem, nerdier posts as well. Instead of just mom and health stuff, I'll be adding some thoughts on writing, reading and editing. Give me some time, and I'll probably develop a weekly schedule so you can pick which days to check in to get the information you most desire.

Here's to a great 2011!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-22T17:06:00.005-06:00

Dear Readers,

Life with two, mixed in with the holiday season, and self-prescribed maternity leave has left no time for blogging. I miss checking in with all of you, and I have many fun things to share (Teaser: my toddler is potty trained, I made super fun ornaments for Christmas gifts, and a good friend has re-inspired some challenging but much needed healthy changes to my lifestyle). Alas, I will wait until after the first of the year to resume my regular blogging. Until then, a very merry Christmas to you and yours. Love you!

Birthday Pleasures

2010-11-04T14:39:00.004-05:00

Photo courtesy of Evil Erin

Today I celebrate another birthday. Is it just me, or does each birthday get less and less important as your focus shifts from inward to outward toward your family and friends? I have so much to be thankful for--most noticeably right now is my health and the health of my family. It's something so easy to take for granted until you see a slew of family and friends make trips to the hospital, and then you realize how blessed you truly are.

So, today, I am thankful. Thankful for health. Thankful for fall. Thankful for family. Thankful for friends. Thankful for my God. Thankful for the internet and FB which allows me to get over a hundred happy birthday notices throughout my day. Thankful for my daughters. Thankful for being able to work from home. Thankful for life and joy and peace. And thankful for fall treats--I think my ideal birthday party would be a huge gathering of friends and family around a bonfire, roasting wienies, singing songs with guitars, and doing lots of talking and laughing. Oh, and of course there would be lots of fall goodies like pumpkin bread with cream cheese frosting, baked apples, caramel apples, pumpkin scones, and anything else that includes pumpkins, apples, or could be cooked over a campfire.

What does your ideal birthday party look like?

Thanksgiving Centerpieces

2010-11-03T13:55:00.005-05:00

photo courtesy of floodllama

Halloween is over, and I'm strangely open to the idea of putting up Christmas decorations already. Usually we wait until the day after Thanksgiving, but this year we will be traveling a bit, so my time at home will be cut shorter. In order to pacify my cravings to decorate for Christmas, I've decided to focus on fun Thanksgiving centerpieces--perhaps something I can work on with my toddler to take as a thank-you gift for the family who is hosting Thanksgiving this year. Whether it's an old farmhouse style table or a more traditional drop leaf table, there's always room for a handcrafted centerpiece, right?

So, dear readers, here is where I need your help. Do you have any ideas or links to creative ideas for Thanksgiving decorations? The folks at Babble have already sparked my interest with some turkey crafts and "Give Thanks" banners.

I've also been mulling over the idea of a turkey centerpiece without the tail feathers attached. Instead of bringing a fully assembled centerpiece, I'd have paper tail feathers and a marker to leave on the table next to the turkey. Throughout the day, each family member could write something he/she is thankful for on each feather. Then the feather would be added to the turkey so that by dinnertime we'd have a fully decorated turkey. What do you think?

I also just looked at some centerpieces that were predominantly blue in color. What do you think? Should all Thanksgiving centerpieces burn red, orange and brown? Or is there room for some cool blue or even hot pink items?

Are you going to decorate your table this year? Leave your ideas in the comments section so we can all partake. Oh, and of course, THANK YOU.

DIY Baby Mobile

2010-11-01T14:38:00.004-05:00

During my fabulous and productive nesting stage, I cranked out quite a few crafts and projects inspired by baby #2. Here's a mobile I created and passed on to my lovely cousin for her baby boy. It was super easy and fun to make. There are so many fun things you could add to personalize it yourself (e.g. you could put a button in the center of each yo yo, you could paint the crafting loop a special color or add decorations to it, etc.)

First of all, here's a link to my inspiration. I love her use of primary colors, and you'll notice her yo yos are smaller than mine--I think I'd make mine smaller like hers next time.

Step 1: Gather your materials. Everything for the pinwheels is listed in this tutorial for making fabric yo yos. You'll also need some kite string and a wooden circle (I used one normally used for pulling thread tight for a cross-stitch or applique project.)

Step 2: Follow the tutorial for making an array of yo yos.

Step 3: Thread the yo yos together using kite string--add knots in the string after you thread each yo yo to determine where the yo yo rests on the string.

Step 4: Tie all of your lines to the wooden circle, balance, knot, and use a lighter to fuse the knots to keep from unraveling.

Step 5: Add kite string to the top to make two arcs that crisscross in the middle. Anchor those together with a long piece of string that you will attach to the ceiling.

The final product picture just isn't very glamorous, but I promise your project will be! This would be a meaningful and fun project to give someone as a shower gift--if you know the colors/theme of your friend's shower. Just be sure to also buy something off the registry--those gifts are always appreciated too.

Fall Recipes

2010-10-14T14:38:00.003-05:00

Now that I'm getting my energy back and (sort of) establishing a routine with two kiddos, I've found time to make it back into the kitchen. Fall is my favorite time of the year, so I'm taking advantage of the season and doing as much baking as possible. Just thought I'd share some of the recipes I've either bookmarked to make or have already tried. Drink a pumpkin spice latte for me, and enjoy!

Quinoa Pumpkin Pancakes

Roasted Butternut Squash Cubes with Thyme and Garlic

Pumpkin Swirl Bread (the "swirl" is cream cheese) Depending on when you want to munch on this, you could make it extra decadent and use it for French Toast.

Brussel Sprouts with Maple Buttered Pecans

Pumpkin Raisin Scones (These are delicious--best eaten fresh out of the oven)

Pumpkin Ginger Nut Muffins

Maple Walnut Chicken Thighs and Cheddar Apple Rice

And I'm just getting started!

Please share your favorite fall recipes--add a link to the recipe in the comments' section. I'd love to try it.

Life with Two

2010-09-30T12:25:00.003-05:00

Baby M is almost three weeks old, and I can't believe I'm closing in on the one-month marker already. Yikes, time flies with two kiddos.

Just thought I'd check in with a few things I've learned so far in this transition to two:

1. It's easier and harder to have a second newborn. Easier because you don't have to look up answers every few minutes and try and find the best advice to go by--you finally trust your inherent mother's intuition to guide you. Harder because there's always another person to consider in every decision you make.

2. Transitioning to two is tricky (which is my nice way of saying it's hard). I hear that this is as hard as it gets. After this, adding more is no problem. Some friends from Norway told me they have a saying, "Having two kids is like having ten; having one child is like having zero." Isn't that the truth?

The simple fact is, no matter how stellar of a mom and multi-tasker you are, your time IS divided. There's no getting around it. It's not even fair to say it's divided because that implies an even 50/50 split. Right now it's more like 80/20--80 to my newborn/20 to my two year old. So when the two year old acts out or is needy, I understand. I almost hate to discipline when she acts out because I feel her pain. I really miss my exclusive time with my toddler. She's definitely getting the short end of the stick in this deal--at least for now. People told me not to fear how you were going to love a second as much as the first--it happens naturally. But what they didn't warn me about was the fact that I'd feel bad for my toddler because she was going to get the bum side of the deal to start with. Moms of one child, consider yourself warned.

3. Take all the help you can get--especially with your older child. When you factor in what a raw deal it is for the older one, on top of the six weeks you have to set aside and not pick up your heavier-than-fifteen pounds little one so you can heal, plus you add all the raging hormones that come with postpartum, you quickly realize that you cannot do this transition alone. Thankfully, my mom was here to help out the first week--and most of her helping involved taking my older daughter out to play at the park or run errands so my daughter could get a break from cranky mama.

The second week of my recovery I packed with play dates--friends who had volunteered to take my daughter for a morning to play with their kids. It was so helpful and appreciated that I almost valued it more than meals being brought in. I would seriously consider for the next sprinkle/diaper shower I throw that I encourage all the guests to sign up for a day to take the older kid/kids once the baby's born. It really made all the difference. Plus, there's something about having one baby that makes you want to shut off society and just spend time with your newborn; but there's something about having a second baby that makes you scream for help and dread mornings when you have to do it alone.

4. Cuddling is still just as wonderful as it is with the first. Another benefit to having my firstborn out of the house during recovery is that I still get lots of cuddling time with my newborn. A tiny baby sleeping on my chest, warm breaths on my neck, infant's chest rising and falling with each short breath . . . ahhh, it doesn't get any better than that. Easily one of my top-ten favorite things in all the world.

5. Louder is better. With a two year old in the house, it's almost never quiet. And that's wonderful because my newborn can/will sleep through anything. I can leave her in a room with a TV or radio blaring, I can run the garbage disposal, I can even pick her up and move her to a new location, and she can settle herself down and sleep through just about anything. It's such a blessing not having to tiptoe around my own home--especially considering how much the baby sleeps. I still have free reign in my home, and I like that.

6. A well-prepared home includes a drop station for baby in each room. No matter where I am in the house, I've always got a safe place to put the baby down at a moment's notice to chase/catch/stop my toddler from doing something harmful to herself. Currently I've got a swing in the kitchen, bouncy seat in the dining room, and pack n play in the living room; and I use all of them often. Plus, a swing in the kitchen has been sufficient so far for entertaining the baby while I prep food--and since I spend a lot of time in the kitchen, this is especially handy.

I'm sure I'll have more raw observations as time plays out.

Bonus observation: Netflix on my laptop has been the best present to me during this time of recovery. It makes the numerous feedings and late bedtimes a whole lot more bearable =)

The Birth Story

2010-09-21T05:09:00.000-05:00

The suspicious one-eye look--she gives this to me all the time.

For those of you who don't know the details of my first delivery, let's just say it was forty-five long hours of intense pain management and unsatisfying results. When all was said and done, the only part of my birth plan still intact was my choice of which shots I wanted my baby to have within the first few hours of life. In the end, I learned how quickly the phrase "healthy baby, healthy mama" takes more precedence over any hopes, desires, and wishes for how your delivery will go. My first delivery was neither drug free nor intervention free, and I had very little knowledge of what the birth experience feels like because I only dealt with contractions--forty-two hours into the labor, I could no longer manage the pain or my body. I opted for an epidural and let go of my dream delivery.

I have since concluded it all went so long because my body was fighting the process of birth--it was like my body had a vice grip on the baby and refused to let her out because delivery felt closer to uncontrolled-chaos than natural human experience. Once I relented and asked for an epidural, which led to petocin to "move things along," sure, I felt wonderful (wonderful=I didn't feel any more pain), but I didn't feel anything else. I didn't feel the urge to push; I didn't feel the baby crowning; I didn't feel the afterbirth; I only felt the rush of emotions when baby girl was placed on my chest.

I realize this sounds dismal and pessimistic, but I'm only setting the stage for the euphoria I felt as a result of this second pregnancy going so differently. As I prepared for this birth, I battled a lot of fears because I had been so confident my first delivery would go one way, yet my vision was shattered with reality. I prayed, confessed, and believed for a specific type of delivery, but my hopes were thin--the first birth had been so long and traumatic that I had a hard time believing anything different could happen. Nevertheless, and I believe this is key, I didn't voice any of my fears nor give them more than a moment's notice in my mind. Talking to me before my second delivery you would have not had any idea I was battling any of this. I truly believe in the power of words, so the only confessions I allowed out of my mouth were I was going to have a healthy baby on September 10th, and it would be a short and easy delivery.

September 9th: I had my 39-week appointment in the afternoon. I knew that I would have the baby that weekend no matter how much progress I had made when she checked me. I didn't desire to try any sort of induction method that put me on the hospital's time clock (e.g., if they break your water, you have to deliver within twenty-four hours or they send you to c-section). I knew stripping my membranes was something I could try, but it didn't guarantee much of anything. If it worked, great; if it didn't work, I could still wait it out and let my body begin the process. So, I had my midwife strip my membranes and hoped for the best.

I was a "two and thick." My midwife, Kim, went so far as to ask me what I wanted to do if I went full term (which tells me she didn't think the baby was coming any time soon). I told her, "Well, I'm having this baby tomorrow or Saturday. But I'm willing to wait at least forty-one weeks before we talk induction of any kind." She said okay--knowing I had a big baby in there--and quietly reminded me, "I just don't want this baby to get too big and get stuck." I told her I wasn't afraid of big babies, and it'd all be okay. I even told the receptionist and the nurse, "Hopefully this is the last time I see you for six weeks. I plan on having the baby this weekend." They smiled and nodded politely.

That evening I had contractions that were slightly stronger than what I'd been experiencing since week thirty-two, but since I'd been contracting for so long, I didn't think much of it. That night when I went to bed, they got stronger, and I found I had to breathe through them. But, remembering how long my first labor was, I didn't get my hopes up. I forced myself to get some sleep (biggest regret from first pregnancy--I didn't sleep when contractions were mild). From 10:00 PM to 1:00 AM, every twenty minutes or so a contraction would wake me up, I'd breathe through it, and then I'd fall back asleep again.

September 10th: 1:00 AM I woke up from a contraction and couldn't fall back asleep. I finally got up and tried different techniques to see if they would change the contractions--ate a snack, moved around, sat on my yoga ball, etc., and they did change--they got stronger and more frequent. I started timing them and they were 3-4 minutes apart. Again, not wanting to get my hopes up, I kept myself distracted and breathed through the contractions. I found sitting on the ball made them more bearable, so I'd get up and work on my snack then race to the ball to sit and breathe through a contraction. With each contraction, I visualized myself opening up, and sometimes I even spoke to my body to open up and let the baby out. I was determined to not let my body fight this delivery.

3:00 AM my hubby's alarm went off (he unloads trucks at UPS for his second job); and I told him he should probably call into work. Five minutes later I second-guessed myself and said, "Well, maybe you could go into work, and I'll just call you when they get really strong." I was having a hard time shaking the memory of my first delivery, and I really wanted to labor as much as possible at home and save myself the embarrassment of being sent home for false labor. But the contractions persisted and got stronger. Within a few minutes I came back to the room and said, "Never mind, you need to get up and pack your bag." My hubby jumped into the shower, and I packed the rest of my stuff and the snacks I wanted to bring.

The next two hours were textbook labor--my body started cleaning itself out, I had my bloody show, and contractions were 2-3 minutes apart. The only thing that hadn't happened was my water breaking. I had my hubby draw me up a bath and I labored in there for about half an hour--the warm water made the contractions more bearable, but at some point I found myself moaning (basically lowing like a cow) to get through the worst of the pain. I hoped that I somehow missed my water breaking by being in the bath, and I got out and finished getting ready.

We woke my two year old and got her ready--I tried to keep her far away from me at this point because the moaning was getting pretty loud, and I was on my hands and knees for most of it. Finally, around 5:30 AM, we were all ready and out the door. In the car, I could no longer avoid my daughter seeing me, so when she asked what I was doing, I said, "Mama's acting like a cow. Isn't that the sound a cow makes?" She nodded in agreement, and I begged my hubby to hurry. When we arrived at my in-laws to drop her off, I told her, "Okay, honey, Mama's going to go and open baby."

She smiled and cheered, "Open baby? YEA!!!" It was the best thing she could've said.

We were at the hospital by 6:00 AM, and I moo-ed into my pillow while my hubby wheeled me to labor and delivery. They started to check me in at the front desk until I started moo-ing again, then they politely and quickly encouraged me to head to my room (yeah, I was that loud).

The contractions were intense, still 2-3 minutes apart, and I had a hard time answering questions in between. All I cared about was if Kim had been notified. When I changed into a gown, they checked me and said, "She's an eight. I'll get a table ready."

I wasn't sure I heard them correctly, "What am I?"

"An eight."

"Praise the Lord!" I exclaimed and almost cried. It was all working--this was going like I had imagined my first pregnancy going.

My midwife arrived in record time. She walked in on a contraction and said, "You little know-it-all. You told me you were going to have this baby this weekend. I think you did this with your first one too." (I did. I went into my 40-week appointment and had not progressed more than a half of a centimeter, and my midwife told me what we'd have to do if we went into week 41, and I told her, "Oh, I'm having the baby this weekend." That night contractions started.)

We commented on how quickly Kim had arrived, and she admitted she had another patient deliver earlier that night and she had arrived two seconds too late. She said she wasn't about to let that happen twice in one night.

6:00-8:00 AM I managed the pain through strong contractions. My hubby was right by my side through it all. I kept myself moving around enough that he didn't have to suggest much, just be there and encourage me. Kim kept suggesting breaking my water. She said I'd feel the contractions more, but it'd make things go faster. At first I didn't want to feel anything more than what I was dealing with; plus I didn't want any interventions if at all possible. Everything had gone according to textbook up until then, I was sure my water would break on its own.

7:50 AM I had only progressed to a nine, and I was starting to tire. I figured getting this baby out was worth weathering stronger contractions, and I'd have to deal with them at one point or another, so I'd rather deal with them at that point than wait until I was even more tired. "Let's get this baby out," I told my midwife, and she prepared to break my water.

Everything after that is a blur. She broke my water, I experienced the longest and most painful contraction yet, and I seriously wondered if I'd be able to make it. Kim checked me again and I was fully dilated and the baby had moved down. The room became a bustle of nurses and supplies, and the second contraction came on strong. At this point, I was on my side and could not move. I had my hubby's hands in mine and was almost face-to-face with him. When that contraction began, the decibel of my moans reached a new level. I was pretty much screaming at this point, even though in my head I was telling myself to keep it low and guttral. I couldn't hear anything people were telling me, and then all of the sudden I felt the urge to push.

I screamed, "I have to push! I have to push!" and when I took a quick breath, I heard them telling me it was okay to push. More screaming (my hubby's eardrums, thankfully, survived) and pushing. When I felt the head crown, yikes! Kim told me, "Okay, good, good, you're crowning now," and I screamed, "I know!" That was the most painful part, but thankfully after a couple of pushes, I felt the body slither out, and I knew it was over.

Kim said, "Okay, Dad, we're going to turn the baby over. What is it?" And I heard my hubby announce,

"It's a girl!"

My first words? "I knew it!"

Hubby later admitted he almost broke down after the announcement--so many emotions, so much going on, ahh, wow. It was 8:16 AM.

Proud papa

Baby girl was put on my chest for a moment. My first thoughts, same as my hubby's, "She looks just like our firstborn." Dark hair, puffy face, darker features. But, as time wore on, we realized she actually looks nothing like our firstborn (she wasted no time establishing her uniqueness). This time, you can actually see a resemblance to me (my first daughter took all of my hubby's good looks).

They took baby girl back, and within a few moments, I delivered the afterbirth (which I had been kind of dreading--I'd heard it hurts and I'd heard it doesn't hurt). For me, it didn't hurt at all, and I was even complimented on how big my placenta was, "Wow, way to grow a placenta." Hehe.

More blur. Baby girl scored a 7-8 on her APGAR. "Eight pounds, ten ounces" was announced, and my hubby asked,

"Did you hear that?" Yikes, I grow big babies, and this time I didn't even care.

One stitch later, and I was waiting in my bed for baby to be returned to me. It was so surreal, and over so fast. My body was shaking from it all, and I just wanted to cry. Wow, we did it. Wow, I made it without drugs. Wow, I have a girl. Wow, I don't know if I'd ever do that again without drugs. Wow, I can't believe it's all over. Wow.

By 3:00 PM, baby girl had a name, Madeline (pronounced with a short i) Rae. It means tower of beauty and wise protection. I've loved it from the first moment we started using it. More than not, she'll go by Maddie at home, but I love Madeline.

Within thirty-six hours, we checked out and were home. Driving in our van my hubby remarked, "Um, I can't believe we had a baby yesterday! And now we're driving around with her in the car." My thoughts exactly, but I felt great. Recovery has been night and day from my first. And it didn't take long for me to decide that I'll go drug free again.

I LOVED feeling everything happen. I love how quickly the recovery is going. And I love knowing my baby didn't have anything foreign pumped into her system within moments of her arrival.

Thanks for all of the congratulations and well wishes. And thank you, especially, to friends and family who have been so helpful since the birth--whether it's a visit, a meal, taking my eldest on a play date, or helping with household chores--I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you!

Me and my girls

It's a girl!

2010-09-13T17:05:00.002-05:00

Dear blog followers,

I'd like to introduce you to Madeline Rae. Born Friday, September 10th, 8:16 AM. Eight pounds, ten ounces. It was, thankfully, a quick labor. Birth story soon to come. All is well. I'm in love for the third time in my life. Snuggling with a newborn is one of my favorite things in the world!

37-38 Weeks Prego

2010-09-08T13:56:00.005-05:00

Photo courtesy of dizznbon (this isn't me =)

So sorry I've been neglecting you. These last couple of weeks have been a blur of productivity. My to-do list is sufficiently wiped out. There remain a couple of minor tasks, but I could go into labor at this moment and have nothing to worry about. That feels really, really good.

Speaking of going into labor, I am SO ready. I've been planning on this weekend (the 10th-11th) as my ideal date (even though I'm not due until the 18th), but if this baby popped out right now, I'd be thrilled. Even just waiting until this weekend is a bit trying on my patience. This stage (being completely ready and just waiting for the baby to come) is one of the hardest stages for me. I don't like being idle, but it's hard to do much of anything when you're this big. So, I feel like I'm wasting time just sitting and sitting and sitting and sitting and sitting and, well, you get the idea. I'm not a lot of fun for my two year old right now because I'm pretty immobile. Thankfully she's young enough she won't remember these boring days. It's like pulling teeth to motivate myself to cook dinner (I contemplated if it'd be more of a blessing to have people cook food before or after the baby's born--days like yesterday I would've welcomed a free meal and a no-dishes-to-wash kitchen).

Despite my whining (I apologize, whining ends here), I've remained fairly active. This week is packed with play dates and activities. We even managed a miraculous photo shoot with the cousins and all three children (2 and under) looked at the camera at the same time for three different shots. That's amazing! Labor Day weekend was spent jumping from party to party. We even drove over two hours to Arkansas to camp for the day with friends. There was a lot of walking involved, which I was fine with because it meant helping gravity do its work to pull this baby down. I even had some strong, consistent contractions on the way home, but nothing came of it.

A storm moved in (the edge of Hermine) today. They always saw low fronts will send you into labor. Again, I waited expectantly but to no avail. Here I sit looking at my rain-soaked yard and still not feeling anything new.

So my current dilemma is deciding how far I want to go in trying to naturally induce labor. I have a theory that people who tell you what worked for them (e.g., yard work, walking, sex, etc.) just happened to be doing those things before their body went into labor. Basically, I believe they would've gone into labor regardless of if they were doing those things or not. So the whole idea makes me skeptical. A friend of mine just told me about a pasta dish that's guaranteed to make you go into labor, but for some reason that made me queasy. I'm beginning to wonder how far I want to go taking God's plan and squeezing it into my own timeframe. I believe my body will go into labor when it's right and best for the baby, so shouldn't I just sit back and wait for that to happen this time? I'm torn. I'm really uncomfortable and really prepared for this baby to come now, yet I don't want to force anything. I believe the best experience will be the one my body triggers, not the one I force with my fast-forward button.

What do you think, dear readers? To naturally induce or not? Do you think it really works, or do you think your body will do what it wants to do when it wants to do it regardless of what you're doing at the time?

Another quick poll: Do you think I'm having a boy or girl? My gut flip flops on a daily basis, and right now when I picture myself with a baby, it's a boy. I think that's really bizarre because right now I'm leaning more toward wanting a girl--I would just love for A to have a sister close in age to grow up with. Plus, our play dates are stocked full of boys, so another girl to throw in the mix would be kind of refreshing. Either way, I'm curious to know what you guys think this baby will be. Just leave it in the comments section.

And if you're wondering, we're no closer to picking out a name than we were nine months ago. Our list (for both genders) is long and full of potential options. It took us twenty-four hours to choose A's name--and we already knew the gender and only had three options on our list. Who knows how long this decision will take. Is it possible to leave the hospital with a nameless baby? I may have the answer for you sooner than later ;-)

35-36 Weeks Prego

2010-08-26T14:13:00.004-05:00

In the words of my two year old, "I wanna open baby!"

Two things I love about this quote. Number one, it tells me she understands the concept of pregnancy (to a small degree), and she's expecting a baby one day. Number two, the simplicity of her view on the whole situation just puts everything into perspective, doesn't it? Plus, it eloquently encapsulates everything I'm feeling right now--my anticipation, eagerness, excitement, joy, etc.

Well, I wouldn't say that I'm ready, but I'm close! Tomorrow my daughter's going to be at my mom's for the whole day. I plan to make a mad tear through my to-do list (see below), and pamper myself as well. Prenatal massage is scheduled for late morning. I can NOT wait! I don't feel the least bit guilty about spending these dollars. It's going to be bliss!

Here's my to-do list (and I've already marked quite a few things off, so this is a shortened version). Can we say type-A? It gives you a good idea of why I say I'm not quite ready for this baby to come; and it gives you a peek inside my head to see what's consuming my thoughts lately.

Finish editing projects (2 left)

Pack hospital bag (yep, after that big rant and lots of warnings from friends about early deliveries, I still haven't finished this. I do, however, have a bag started. And when I say "pack," that means I'm going to make a list of everything I want in the bag. I probably won't pack until I go into labor or closer to Sept. 11th--my self-prescribed due date).

Make a big-sister crown for A.

Paint picture frame (technically it's painted, but it needs another coat, and we ran out of spray paint--this should say "buy spray paint" too).

Hang picture frames (which won't be possible until after Saturday when my hubby picks up our furniture. Until then, it's just a task hanging over my head that I really can do nothing about right now).

Babies R Us shopping--any of the necessities I haven't received from my showers and still need to be purchased. (I've actually done most of this online, so I might be good to go, but you never know).

Type out (reminders, breathing patterns, pain management techniques, birthing positions, etc. as a) cheat sheet for my hubby. (Since we're going doula-less, he's the doula. I've been giving him tips every night so I don't overwhelm him all at once. And, the cheat sheets should cover all the basics).

Prep hubby's birthday (i.e., at least buy him a present--and maybe the ingredients for his cake/dinner. His birthday is six days after my due date. I know I won't be buying anything--unless it's online--once baby's here. I probably should plan family birthday parties, too, but those might have to wait until we see which day Baby Ninja actually comes).

Type out a food preference sheet--a friend has already volunteered to arrange meals for me; I just need to write down some suggestions/guidelines people can follow if they want.

Pack my daughter's suitcase (again, by "pack" I mean make a list for now).

Applique curtain (I made a curtain to cover the bookshelf in the nursery that houses my work supplies, books, and sewing. Right now it's plain white. Once the nursery is assembled, I'll pick something fun to add to the curtain. This is another task that has to wait till at least next week. It's pretty low on the priority list.)

Order baby shower present for another friend--I might be out of time for this one. May have to just contribute to group gift =)

Put up fall decorations in my house. (Fall is BY FAR my favorite season, so I go all out. I've got boxes of decorations organized on recently purchased handy shelves in my garage--thank you, nesting--and I know if the decor doesn't go up before baby arrives, it's not going to make it up this year, and that would make me very, very sad).

Prep camera and video camera--download all pix/videos, clear memory, charge, pack chargers.

Put together a nursing box (this is the box my daughter will only be allowed to pull out while I'm nursing. There will be special toys in there that she can play with during nursing times. The goal is to make sure she doesn't feel excluded during numerous baby feedings throughout the day).

Pick music I want playing in delivery room

Pay taxes (ah, the joys of being self-employed. The nice thing about the timing of this baby is I won't be making any more money this year, so I can pay through the end of the year and not have to worry about it again until next year).

Order baby shower gift for my cousin--she's long distance, and she waited to find out the gender of her baby (born yesterday--it's a boy!); so my family has put off buying her a present until now. I really want to find something special and practical!

Order mattress for crib--the semi-organic one I want is only available online. This isn't a top priority because I won't be using it for awhile, but it would help to have the mattress with bedding on it to really bring the nursery together. So I'll probably order it sooner than later =)

Finish photobook--free photobook on Picaboo right now. I'm trying to do a book with just December of 2009 in this one--that's how far behind I am. At least it's free. I'm liking the program so far, but Snapfish is still my favorite to work on).

I'll knock a good majority of this out tomorrow. I'll probably pack (really pack) after Labor day. And I plan to knock a few of the other things out after I finish this blog. Are you overwhelmed just reading this? Sorry, I actually feel more organized and calm knowing it's all written down, and I have a plan to be completely ready for baby.

As far as what I'm going through right now--I'm definitely bigger (pointier) and more uncomfortable than I was with my first pregnancy at this point. Sleeping usually leaves my hips feeling sore because of my belly's weight pulling on them all night. I'm gaining more weight than I did with my first--only a few pounds, but all of those pounds have been from this last month. I'm constantly hungry, and I'm craving sweets (especially ice cream) like crazy. So, instead of my average pound-per-week weight gain, I've been averaging two pounds the last three weeks. I keep remembering how hard it was to get rid of baby weight the first time around, and I'm trying to use that as motivation to put the spoon down and walk away from the sugar; but it's not working very well =(

I haven't made much progress as far as dilating or effacing, but that doesn't bother me. First of all, I plan to do as much walking as possible in the next week to get things moving. Plus, I've been resisting the contractions up until now. From this point on, I'll be welcoming the contractions and allowing my body to use them to prepare the baby. Plus, I had made no progress the morning I went into labor--my midwife checked me and figured I'd go until 41 weeks at least, but I started labor that night--so I know my body doesn't necessarily need to progress a long time in advance before labor begins.

Okay, time to get back to that to-do list!

Baby Shower/Sprinkle

2010-08-18T13:22:00.000-05:00

Got my dress from Ross--stretchy, scrunchy, and black--hides a world of sins! (It's not even maternity.)

My shower, thrown by my incredible SIL and friends, used this wording on the evite:

A baby bookworm is on the way

Let's shower, Joy

our literary mama
with love and books

Although cards are nice
They're read once or twice
A book is a treasure
Forever and Forever
So instead of a card
To be put aside
Please give the little baby ninja
A book with your name inside, along with your gift

Could you pick a more perfect invite for an editor/writer's baby shower? I love it!

My shower was fabulous! And I'll tell you the key to making it really fabulous--not knowing the gender of the baby. I know that sounds ridiculous, but hear me out. If you don't know the gender of the baby, you're forced to buy from the registry (or buy practical stuff any baby could use). That means I had a shower packed with practical stuff (cloth diapers & accessories, baby shampoo, bedding, and gift cards). It's all practical stuff I know I'll use, so it's a big blessing.

I dare you to find one item in that bounty pile that I won't use and need to take back--double dog dare you!

I'll let you in on a little secret new moms won't tell you--cute gifts are usually just that--cute. They don't get used. They collect dust on a shelf in the nursery until enough time has passed that it isn't offensive to sell them in a garage sale or throw them away. Meanwhile, Mama is rocking her baby to sleep trying to count up the cost of all the cute-but-not-usable toys and clothes she got and wishing she had that extra cash to buy diapers, wipes, and fun items like humidifiers, convertible car seats, and baby thermometers (note my sarcasm). If you really want to bless the person you're buying for (this includes wedding presents too), BUY FROM THE REGISTRY!

Okay, rant over. Don't tell me I didn't warn you.

Back to my shower--the whole time I was opening presents, I kept exclaiming how wonderful each present was--and I meant it! It's encouraging and calming to know that after the shower my to-buy list has actually shrunk, and I might be able to invest a little more in my furniture and nursery decor. I don't think anyone (except the other mamas in the room) believed me, but it's true. I loved my shower and all of my gifts!

While we're on the topic of baby showers, I thought I'd share a few tips to keeping the shower affordable and a blessing for the mama-to-be.

1. Set your priorities and stick to them. If getting a big group gift is the priority (which it usually is for me--guarantees the mama is spoiled, which is most important), then don't spend all the hostesses' money on frivolous decorations, favors, and whatnot that's going to be thrown away after the shower.

2. Get lots of help. If anyone volunteers to help--say yes! Delegate the parts that cost money, so each person feels as though they're contributing yet not going broke in the process. Have everyone make something to eat/bring something to drink--again, it keeps costs down.

The lovely ladies who volunteered to host my shower (my sister is missing from this picture). I am so blessed to have so many people care enough to invest in my second shower. Thanks, ladies!

3. If you're going to splurge on a professional cake/cookies/etc., then cut the rest of the food costs way back so you're not breaking the bank.

These are my all-time FAVORITE cookies I requested. Mmm mmm good! Definitely worth the splurge!

4. Make it a come-and-go shower (check with your guest of honor first to make sure she isn't expecting a traditional shower, and be sure to state that it's come-and-g0 on the invite). Here are my favorite reasons for having a come-and-go shower--people are more likely to show up if they know they aren't going to get sucked into a couple of hours of games and sitting around talking to strangers. Also, if you make it a come-and-go shower, you don't have to do games--that means there's no money needed for the game supplies or the gifts for the winners.

But if you're going to do games, be sure to get lots of pictures of classic moments like this!

5. RSVP-ing is quickly fading away as a lost tradition. There are a couple of ways to deal with this. Number one, if you use evite.com for your invite (another great cost-saving idea), there's a better chance of people RSVP-ing, but it's still not a guarantee. The other nice part of an evite is it sends out an email reminder a day or two before the event and reminds people it's coming up. It also gives people a chance to see who's coming--if they see their friends are coming, they're more likely to show up--which means a better turnout for you.

Second valuable tip in lieu of RSVPs: In general, about 30 percent of the people you invite will come. So, as far as food and paper products go, if you're not getting a lot of RSVPs, plan on about 30 percent showing up. If you have a target number of people you want to show up to make the mama feel blessed, encourage her to invite anyone and everyone so that her total list is about triple the number you want to show up. This rule has yet to fail me.

BONUS TIP: As fun and romantic as a couples' shower sounds, it's usually a bust. Guys have a hard time wrapping their brains and their manhood around the idea of attending a "shower." And if the guy doesn't want to go, the girl won't show up alone. You'll probably have a better turnout if you keep it to the girls. And for the sake of your hostesses investing money in your shower, you'd rather have a good turnout than a bunch of leftover food, cute decorations, and empty promises from no-shows for a present.

Please don't think I'm being cynical. I know there are exceptions to all of these rules. I've had showers and attended showers that didn't follow these guidelines, and they were wonderful and a huge blessing. I just wanted to put some guidelines on the Internet that would be helpful to know if I was looking for baby shower advice. I think the most important factors of a shower are blessing the mama and having a good turnout--these are the top ways I can think of guaranteeing that both of those things happen.

Speaking of baby showers . . . in Michigan (my old stomping grounds), they call a shower for a second baby a "sprinkle." Here in Oklahoma, it's more common to have a "diaper shower" for the second one, and for the most part, people just fill your closet with diapers for the first few months. I have to admit, I'd never even heard the term "sprinkle" until recently. Is that a northern thing or do people use it across the country? Let me know in the comments section where you're from and what lingo you use for the second shower--or if you even bother having a shower for baby number two.

A friend of mine HAND KNIT this giraffe! Could it be any more perfect?

34 Weeks Prego

2010-08-14T17:10:00.003-05:00

**Photo courtesy of Noizyboy**

Just got a Babycenter email encouraging me to pack my bag for the hospital. I'm really conflicted on this advice.

A.) I would guess the majority of the people receiving these emails are first-time pregos. If that's the case, then the chances of them going full-term are pretty stinking good. Doesn't this just set them up for being even MORE anxious about the upcoming birth by having them pack FIVE WEEKS in advance? There's so much of a mental game during the whole pregnancy term--hearing everyone's crazy story and battling the fears that your imagination conjures up; being patient and letting your body do it's thing, yet being impatient because you're so uncomfortable and "they" say you can deliver a healthy baby as early as thirty-six weeks; "eating for two" yet not wanting to gain an exorbitant amount of weight so not sure what to eat and when; etc.--wouldn't it be more prudent to send out these emails with disclaimers or statistics.

For example, "There's a small chance (about 15 percent of you) who will go into labor in the next couple of weeks, so it may be prudent to start putting together a bag for the hospital." That way, if the person packs and then doesn't deliver the next day, they can calm themselves with the fact that they're part of the 85 percent of women who go into labor at forty weeks or later. (I completely made up this statistic for illustration purposes. Did you know 83 percent of statistics are made up anyway? Yeah, I made that up too.)

B.) Is this another sign that I'm going to have this baby early? I know everyone gets this email, but does everyone bother to read it? And does everyone get this riled up over it that they feel the need to blog about it? I'm guessing I'm in the minority here.

C.) Even if I do go into labor in the next couple of weeks, how likely is it that I won't have time to labor at home and pack my bag? I mean, seriously, we all know that most labors are over ten hours (again, I'm just guessing), so how come you couldn't use those first few hours of less intense contractions to distract yourself with some packing and prepping for the hospital?

Okay, the rant is over. I probably won't pack my bag this week or next. I figure September 4th is the soonest I'd go into labor (because that's my self-imposed deadline to finish all my editing projects), and I've got to push some of those last-minute hospital prep items off until then. I'll be fine, right? (Famous last words) We'll see how this plays out!

33 Weeks Prego

2010-08-10T06:33:00.000-05:00

I have to be honest, I'm not so solid on my gut-instinct that it's a girl anymore. I know I told you I don't put any weight in all the "signs" people follow that show it's a boy/girl (e.g., heart rate, how you carry the baby, etc.); BUT I'm having a hard time ignoring the fact that this pregnancy is so different from my first. I know, I know. That doesn't mean anything either--I, too, have friends who had completely different pregnancies and same gender babies. It's all a mental battle, but I'm starting to think it's a boy now. Either way, I'm using "she" more often to refer to my baby; it just sounds more humane and personal than "it." And it gets me excited for a girl every time I use it, so that's definitely a major plus. Plus, I realized that the only item I bought way in advance for this baby was a girl's onesie. Perhaps it's a sign?

Another reason I think it might be a boy is my appetite has been through the roof again. I thought with a growing baby, my stomach would be shrinking; therefore, I wouldn't be able to consume as much in one sitting. I figured I would just have to eat more often. But that's not the case. I can eat . . . a lot . . . in one sitting, and thirty minutes later, I'm hungry for another meal. It's ridiculous. I know my baby's gaining more weight now, but still . . . it doesn't account for the junk I've been allowing myself to indulge in "in the name of pregnancy." I really want to gain a minimal amount of weight, and I want to have healthy eating practices established before the baby's born so it will be easier to shed this weight once the baby is here. So it's taking everything within me to resist the urge to binge on sweets and creamy deliciousness every day.

Oh, and I had my ultrasound at 34 weeks--it's not nearly as exciting as the 20 week ultrasound because the baby's so big you can't see much at once. Here's what I learned at the ultrasound:

1. Baby's already head down facing the back--GOOD!

2. Baby's already got a head of hair (see pic below). That extra think kinda wavy line around the rim of the head, yeah, that's hair.

3. Baby's measuring 5 pounds 8 ounces. Um, that's at 34 weeks! If the measurement is accurate and the baby gains the average half pound per week, we're looking at a nine pound baby again. YIKES!

Going on gut again, I know this baby is coming early. First of all, my work load freed up tremendously, so I'm taking that as a sign that I needed to wrap things up earlier so I could be ready for this baby. I'm contracting all the time--which did not happen with baby number one. I can tell my body's preparing for labor. And then there's just that gut instinct that says I'm going to go early. Ideally, I'll deliver September 11. I know, weird date to pick, but my favorite nurse is working that day =) Plus, wouldn't it be good to have new life to celebrate on that day instead of just thinking about the hurt our nation went through? I think so.

I know last week I said I'd take the measurements with a grain of salt, and many have reminded me since that the measurements are often wrong--so I'll let my body do what it needs to. September 14th is another great day because my nurse is working that day too =) Regardless, I'm not going to fear having a big baby. My body grows big babies, so it can handle birthing them too.

I can't believe I'm a month away. I've gotten a lot done (laundered clothes, cleaned car seat, organized papers, NESTED--you should see my closets!); but I've got a lot to do (finalize birth plan, finalize name options, install car seat, pack hospital bag, buy/assemble furniture, finish nursery, make "big sister" crown for my firstborn, finalize and pack big sister's stuff, etc.) . Plus, I need to finish up my work (I've still got five books in progress that I'm editing). More than enough to keep me occupied the next few weeks.

I must admit, I keep seeing myself showing up for a regular check-up and hearing my midwife say, "Are you ready to have this baby today? Because we're going to the hospital now." Hopefully that's just my imagination. I want to labor as much as possible at home . . . and I'm just not quite ready for this baby to appear. Soon, very soon though!

32 Weeks Prego

2010-07-30T12:45:00.000-05:00

This week's babycenter email, and my reactions:

By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (I'm pretty sure my baby weighs more than that--have you seen my belly?) (pick up a large jicama--I should know what this is, but I don't) and is about 16.7 inches long (that explains the simultaneous sharp pains at the bottom of my pelvis with the poking in my ribs), taking up a lot of space in your uterus (thank you, captain obvious!). You're gaining about a pound a week (is this supposed to be new information? Doesn't the writer know I've been forced to step on a scale once a month (and now twice a month) for the last seven months?) and roughly half of that goes right to your baby (Um, where did it go before?). In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb (again, I'm pretty sure these weight and size estimates are way off--this child has been eating like a horse since day one. There's no way he/she is less than four pounds seven months later and not already cute and pudgy). She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable (respectable?!) peach fuzz) (I've heard lots of hair equals lots of heartburn. That wasn't true with my first baby, but this baby certainly has me addicted to Tums. Maybe he/she has a ton of hair too?). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth (That's nice, but again I wonder, what was it like before this week).

The more I think about this email, the more disturbing it sounds. Seriously, I used to think that these updates were cute and fascinating, but I'm beginning to wonder what it is they're leaving out. Notice they all focus on the cute stuff that is just now happening, but they tend to leave out the strange, unfamiliar details about what happened before. And, for the record, I have NO faith in these emails' estimates nor any doctor's estimates on baby size. I've seen baby sizes wrongly predicted over and over and over. I believe all babies are different and all grow differently. No one knows anything for sure until that baby pops out and is in our arms.

Which leads me to my thoughts for this week. My 34-week ultrasound is coming up. My midwife insists we measure the baby to determine if he/she's bigger than normal. While I appreciate the idea of delivering a baby that's less than 8 pounds (first baby weighed in at a shocking 8 lbs 13 oz--I had been told two days before that she looked like a 6-7 pound baby), I'm not really convinced that measuring the baby at 34 weeks is going to be helpful at all. First of all, I don't trust the measurements or "norms" that doctors tout. There are always exceptions. Number two, I'm planning on going drug free, which includes induction drugs. I trust that my body and God will know when this baby needs to come out. That's really all the assurance I need that I'll be able to deliver a healthy baby.

So, while I'm excited to see the baby again via ultrasound, and I'm especially excited to see a baby this advanced (the latest ultrasound we took for my first was at 20 weeks), I'm really not putting much weight in the measurements (no pun intended). I believe strongly in the power of words. Last time I said throughout the pregnancy that I would go into labor on a certain day, and even though I had a checkup that morning and was only half of a centimeter, I still went into labor that night. Granted, I learned a lot from that first delivery--for example, I had said when I would go into labor, but I never specified when I'd actually deliver the baby. Forty-five hours later . . . (that's not a typo), I learned my lesson. This time I'm specifying both when I'll go into labor, and when I'll have the baby--hint, they'll both be on the same day ;-)

So, back to the ultrasound, I'll go for the ultrasound, enjoy seeing my cutie pie's developing body, take with a grain of salt what my midwife says about ideal delivery dates, and pick a day that factors my midwife's recommendations in with my calendar of to-do items. I really expect to go full-term 40 weeks, but maybe I'll change my tune when this baby picks up even more pounds than he/she already has. Time will tell. I'll keep you posted.

On a side note, thanks so much for sharing your epidural stories. I've decided epidurals leading to c-sections are not necessarily regional. It seems to be the same story no matter where you live in the States. I am curious if it changes if you deliver in other countries, but who knows?

I signed up for my just-in-case epidural this week, and reading all the warnings and disclaimers (including the part that says, "this pamphlet does not list all of the warnings and risks associated with epidurals), I'm again fueled in my attempts to go drug free. It just gives me the heebie jeebies to sign off on something that has so many unknowns attached to it when I can physically handle the delivery without it. My hubby and I have also decided to go doula-less. Since my doula's not available for this pregnancy and the other doulas I know charge double her price, we've decided we can do this on our own. My hubby really is stellar--he should've been a nurse; his bedside manner is incredible. I'm feeling really confident about our decision. In the meantime, we're going to study up on pain-management techniques, and I'm going to read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth to pump me up and prepare me for the delivery. I'm so excited to be able to share a stellar birth story with you in less than two months!

31 Weeks--We're in Single Digits, People!

2010-07-22T11:05:00.000-05:00

Nine measly weeks until Baby Ninja is here. NINE! AHHHHHHH!

This week's email says my baby's about to experience a growth spurt. I'm trying to figure out exactly how that's going to work because I already feel like I'm going to burst. I can tell that I'm carrying this baby differently than the first because I don't remember this much pressure on my lower abs before. Plus, there are times when I feel like the baby is just going to fall out--other women told me that was going to happen, but I never believed them--I'm a believer now! My midwife pointed out that since my muscles are stretched out from baby #1, I'd feel a lot more this time around, so that explains a lot of it. But I also think this baby is lower, and I think my belly is more pointed (more important things to note in case this one turns out to be a boy).

I've finally allowed myself to separate my biases and preconceived notions and just let my gut instinct talk to me. So when I quiet all the voices in my head, one thought prevails: this baby is a girl. One of my hubby's co-workers was surprised to hear I hadn't dreamt about the baby and figured out the gender. She said long before she found out the gender (she's only a couple of weeks behind me), she had dreams that it would be a boy. Well, I haven't had dreams, but I'm finally allowing myself to listen to my intuition. Before now, my two major hangups with trying to figure out the gender were #1: I know I want it to be a boy, so I couldn't separate wanting it to be a boy from thinking it is a boy. #2. I have a girl, so I only know girls. I really can't imagine anything but a girl right now. Confusing. I know! So that's why I wouldn't let myself try to guess the gender.

But the other day I was day dreaming about life with two kids, and I pictured myself with two girls. It just popped in my head. And I was really excited. I can foresee us being close, enjoying girly moments, and just "getting" each other. It felt right. My girls and I. Has a nice ring. I'll still be thrilled to have a boy, but I might start calling Baby Ninja a "she" from now on and actually acting on my instinct. We'll see.

On another pregnancy note: braxton hicks contractions have begun. Yeeouch! I didn't have these with my first pregnancy, but the first time I felt one this time around, I immediately flashed back to walking the halls of the hospital trying to weather the pain and get my cervix to dilate with my first baby. I know it's common to feel contractions this early, but anyone besides me have ones that were pretty painful? For those of you who haven't experienced them, the best way I can describe them is a creeping pain (like menstrual cramps) that continues to escalate until all of the muscles around your uterus are rock hard. They're not always that painful, but the muscles around my uterus are certainly getting a workout from tightening so often.

Survey time! How common is it around you to have an epidural and avoid a c-section? I know c-sections in general are on the rise, but a friend of mine pointed out that I was one of two friends she knew of who had an epidural and didn't end up in a c-section. I found that fascinating because here in OK (at least among my friends), it's really common for people to have an epidural and not end up in a c-section; but in MI, it's the opposite. Help me out with a mini-survey here. In the comments, let me know where you're from, if you had an epidural, and if you ended up in a c-section. Feel free to add what your friends have experienced, too, so I can get a better sense of your area. Thanks so much, dear readers. I really appreciate all the feedback and advice you've given me along the way.

And finally, confession time. I'm putting potty training on hold. As I burrow into the ground (should be in China by next week), I have to admit, this isn't going well. She's just not interested. So, I'm going to take the advice I've been resisting for so long--I'm going to take a break. I'm not sure if it will be a week, two weeks, or more; but I'm going to start using diapers again. After a week of absolutely no progress (in fact, now she smiles when she tells me she peed her pants and proudly points out the puddle she left behind), I've decided this is counterproductive. Sigh. I will not have one of those inspiring stories to tell the new moms in the near future. Instead, I will be one of those humans (as opposed to super-moms) who admits all sorts of failures along the long journey to potty training. I realize I'm being extremely dramatic, but giving up is so little a part of my life that this is really hard to admit--especially with it being so public since I'm posting it online. Ah well, life goes on. =)

30 Weeks . . . and still trucking!

2010-07-20T10:43:00.000-05:00

I'm convinced my little head of cabbage is going to be proficient in somersaulting before he/she can hold up its head or crawl. This booger loves to move!

Other than the fact that I'm slower getting up and down from a seated position, and I need a lower-back rub every fifteen minutes, I'm feeling pretty good. The nursery is painted, and I'm starting to believe this child is actually going to fit in our house. My two year old is hugging and kissing my belly more and more; and she loves to point to my protruding bellybutton and ask, "Is this the baby?"

This has been a rough week for potty training. A has decided that she just doesn't want to tell us anymore if she has to go or not. We were doing so well, and then we fell flat on our faces. I finally started using the timer method--just set the timer and have her try when it beeps. My mom commented that it was like training Pavlov's dog, which it is . . . but, she usually won't fight the timer like she will if I ask her to to go. The timer will go off, and she'll say, "That my beep? Time to go potty!"

I asked the pediatrician about how long it's taking, and he said since we started early, don't fight her. Let her do it as she's ready. So, I was getting stressed and frustrated, but I've let it go again, and I just try to celebrate the heck out of the victories. I've given in to the fact that we'll be buying a few more packages of pull-ups (I wanted to be one of those moms that didn't even finish the first package before her daughter was potty trained. Fail.)

As far as being a work-at-home mom, I'm really looking forward to my maternity leave. I've found myself wondering what it's like to have my child take a nap, and I could take one too. (I admit, I've snuck a few more in lately but not without a creeping guilt thinking about what I should be getting done.) I fully intend to relax, not let the house and other daily chores stress me out, and really use my maternity leave as a time to rest, recover, start getting my body back in shape, create a schedule, and enjoy my family of four. I do have one primary goal that's work related for my maternity leave: set up a website for my business. I fully intend to hire someone to design and run the website; I just need to take the time to hire someone. Expect this blog to be linked to much more in January!

I'd encourage any WAHM to not shy away from taking a decent amount of time off for maternity leave. I'll be honest, I was worried about losing the momentum my business is experiencing now, but I've found that the more I commit to making my family a priority, the more projects role in. I've already turned down quite a few jobs that I just can't take because I'm booked through my delivery date. AND I've already got quite a few jobs lined up for January 1st, so I can jump right back in with plenty of work. I love being able to sow good seeds and recommend my friends to jobs I can't take. And I truly believe in the blessing of following the principle of the sabbath. I'd highly recommend taking some time to listen to this message (click on "Closed on Sunday" from July 14) which explains it. Download it on your iTunes. You won't regret it.

Nesting 101 (29 Weeks)

2010-07-16T14:20:00.000-05:00

Photo courtesy of Alan Vernon

Ahhhhh, this is the life! I love, love, love nesting! It's almost as satisfying as moving into a new space and finding the perfect place for each and every thing. That feeling of organization. That feeling of clean. Ahhh, the good life. Wouldn't it be great if your body started nesting whenever you had to pack up your house and move? I really think the whole process would be so much more enjoyable if you were nesting . . . perhaps you could time your move with nesting . . . perhaps not.

As I mentioned before, I never nested with my first pregnancy, so this is a new stage for me. It started with the hall closets, the tiny tiny hall closets that have been overflowing since the second week we've lived in this house. It's amazing how much junk I managed to cram in those little shelves. But four garbage bags later, order has resumed and now I don't cringe if a guest comes over and happens to peek inside.

I've also carried bags and bags of junk out of the future nursery. While it may not look much cleaner, there ARE empty shelves where before there were none, and the closet can be opened without a pile of miscellaneous-don't-know-where-to-put-them items come cascading down on you. In the middle of the room is a huge pile of pillows--mainly throw pillows. I rotate my throw pillows, so I can't put them all out at once. But they're SO space-consuming! I've decided to purchase some magical vacuum-seal bags and somehow turn my mountain of pillows and miscellaneous bedding into an anthill of items that only take a small corner of my attic to store.

Today the laundry room/bathrooms were my next victims. Again, three trash bags later, order has resumed. I can't believe the stuff I was keeping. Gross! There's actually an empty drawer and half of an empty shelf leftover. I get so excited when I find ways to properly store more stuff, and I still have room leftover for the baby. Okay, a drawer and half of a shelf may not be quite enough for adding one more human, but it sure seems a lot more manageable now.

I'll probably tackle more of the nursery next--need to pick a paint color and get the room painted! Then I can start craigslisting some used furniture. I also need to start stocking up on baskets. I feel so much more organized when everything is compartmentalized in baskets on shelves.

Potty Training Update:

I'm not even sure which week we're on now. We're definitely having some great successes. I still wouldn't consider her "potty trained," and I certainly don't leave home without a pull-up on (but now we're putting it over her undies so she still feels the consequences); but we're definitely heading in a good direction. I'm excited to start moving the cloth diapers into the nursery. Oh, and did you see? BumGenius (our fav cloth diapers) came out with version 4.0! Oh baby, can't wait to try them. Gotta go update my registry now.

Random Charley Horse Factoid:

If you feel a charley horse coming on, don't point your toes! Pull your toes forward toward your knees. It sounds ridiculous, but it's really helped me. In fact, I haven't had a charley horse since I started doing it.

Nursery Update

2010-07-08T12:58:00.002-05:00

Bonus post: I'm just so excited about my nursery plans, I had to share!

Nesting has morphed into motivation to work on my nursery. I've been shopping, organizing, and for the first time in my life, trying paint samples (instead of just holding the little cards up to the wall).

Okay, so here's the run down so far.

This is the print we bought to base the colors/theme off of:

This is the nursery that I'm using as inspiration. Simple. Fun. Not too babyish. I'm going to paint some of my frames the red/orange in my giraffe print to match this nursery. I'm still on the prowl for an appropriate wooden or stuffed giraffe. Any suggestions?

And I just entered this giveaway for bedding that would just make me giddy, but I wouldn't justify spending this much (at least for this baby). If you want to enter on my behalf and send your winnings my way, I'd greatly appreciate it ;-) And isn't that rug fabulous?!

Paint colors: We're either going to do a really really light version of the green (on the sample it almost looks white) or a darker beige that matches the browner spots on the print.

I bought baskets galore at Hobby Lobby's 50 percent off sale, and I'm filling my built-in bookshelf with those for more storage--it's a tiny room, so I have to utilize all the space I can.

Next decisions:

1. The closet lost some space because of the built-in bookshelves, so I'm debating a shelving system inside again for more space, or just a bar and top shelf so I can stack rubbermaid boxes along the floor.

2. Furniture: I only need a dresser and crib. White or a light colored wood? Here's my dilemma: Currently the room has a cherry wood floor & ceiling fan, maple book shelves, and black wooden desk. The trim and built-in shelves are white. And as I mentioned earlier, I'm going to paint my frames red. I think we'll either go with white or a lighter wood stain. What do you think? I'm looking to buy used, so it might just be decided by what I can find.

Tonight we prep the room for painting. Can't wait!

Glucose Screening Take 2 (28 Weeks)

2010-07-07T13:48:00.000-05:00

I spent the weekend mentally and spiritually preparing myself for the three-hour glucose test. Hubby decided to take the day off to be with me, and I secured a sitter for my little girl. We arrived bright and early, and the blood drawing commenced. I freaked out and had to pull away before the tech even put the needle in my arm--so lame! Finally got my head together, and I made it through the first draw without passing out. Success!

By that point it was almost 9:00 AM, and I had not eaten for twelve hours. Needless to say, that orange drink was looking pretty tasty at that point. I gulped it down, and was pleasantly surprised to hear I only had to wait 30 minutes until my next needle. I had come fully prepared to fight boredom--laptop to work on, crochet project to complete, and novel to read. The waiting time passed quickly, and we were back in the lab again. Success number two--no passing out!

This time we had an hour to wait, so we headed out to Kohls to make an exchange and killed most of the time with that short errand. Good strategy because it made the time go quickly; therefore, I didn't have time to think about the next needle (or how hungry I was getting) and psych myself out. Just before we went back in, I got a call from my mom who was watching my daughter that my daughter had just thrown up and was running a fever. She's never thrown up for me before, so this was new territory--plus, I felt helpless being in the middle of my testing.

Trying to be strong for my daughter and trying to be strong for myself turned out to be pretty difficult. I got a hold of our pediatrician, relayed the recommendations to my mom, took a deep breath and faced the next needle. Still conscious! On our way out of the lab, I ran into my midwife. She apologized for putting me through this whole ordeal, but she had to cover her bases--plus my first baby was almost 9 pounds, so she wanted to be extra cautious. She did admit that while I didn't pass the first glucose test, my number was only a little high--more hope! You know, I ate up to the minute before my first test fasting period began. I bet if I had held off eating more than two hours, my system would've been clear--lesson for next time.

Last hour in the waiting room passed quickly. I crocheted this project (my first crochet project ever), and I tried to keep to a minimum my dirty looks directed toward the couple sitting across from me happily munching on Brahms burgers and fries while I went through my fifteenth hour of fasting.

Last needle down, no fainting. Overall, a big success. The whole process was actually easier than I thought it would be--it's the recovery that was more difficult. I was drained for the rest of the day--on top of taking care of my feverish daughter. She didn't throw up again, and within twelve hours, she was back to her happy self, and her fever was minimal. The NEXT day I was even more tired. I wonder if I caught a bit of her virus, and it just drained me for the next day. Who knows?

My midwife promised results the next day and said she'd call when she got them. Tuesday came and went. No call. Wednesday. No call. Thursday I had my two-week checkup (AH! I'm already at 2-week intreval checkups! This is going really fast!), so I just waited til my appointment to ask. The nurse smiled and said, "You knew you would, but you passed. You're good to go." Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, relief!

This was a big wake-up call. Since then I've been more conscious of what I'm eating. I'm also trying to eat fruit before my meal--recently was reminded that fruit digests faster than other foods, so if it's eaten with the rest of your meal, it'll sit on top of the slower foods and ferment. Not good! I've also tried to keep the sugar intake down. I just don't feel good when I do eat sugary foods, so I might as well avoid them when possible =)

I'd love to hear from those of you who tested positive for gestational diabetes. What happens next if you don't pass your second test? How did your life change? Did you notice feeling any different once you implemented better eating habits and monitoring your blood sugar?

**Did you know if you test positive for gestational diabetes, you get to prick your finger three times a day to check your blood sugar--on top of all the diet and exercise changes? Joy of joys! I'm learning a lot this time around.

***Photo courtesy of KevinDooley***

27 Weeks

2010-07-02T14:57:00.000-05:00

Is it possible that we're down to less than three months? The more I think about my desire to deliver early, the more I start to question my sani
ty. I really really enjoy this exclusive time with my 2 year old. I'm also booked up with work until the baby's due. Truth be told, there's a better chance of me wrapping everything up properly if this baby waits until his/her due date. Yes, that means one birthday on top of the other (my hubby is the 24th), but in the long run, it may be better to have a little more time on this end rather than on the other. Alas, the child will come when the child wants, and I'm perfectly okay with that.

Sad news. I just found out my doula is taking some time off. My hubby and I have been back and forth trying to decide if we wanted to use a doula this time. Last time, she was a LIFESAVER! Let's just say she went above and beyond (by about 12 extra hours) her call of duty. We would NOT have made it drug free for as long as we did without her. She made all the difference in the world. So why the doubt this time? Well, I'm believing this birth is going to go A LOT faster than the first (the first I clocked a solid 45 hours of awake and active labor--not to mention I'd been awake the 15 hours before the contractions began). I'd love to have a, well, 30 minute push time and pop--here's your baby! I know the reality is slim, but I will hope!

Secondly, my hubby proved to be stellar during the labor. My doula commented that she wished she could take him to all her births--his ability to stay in the moment with me and be attentive to my needs was a cut above. (I'm so proud!) Anyway, since I have an incredible hubby and will have a shorter birth, we questioned if investing the money in a doula is a priority. But, when it all comes down to it, we decided that no matter how quick the birth goes, she'll be worth every penny. Not to mention, I believe that her presence at the birth made my hubby a better person. We probably would've been lost without her.

All that to say, she (for very commendable reasons) is taking time off. Sigh. I'm not sure where we'll go from here. To be honest, I'm telling you, dear readers, before I have even had time to mention it to my hubby. I'll keep you posted on his reaction.

I had my last second-trimester checkup this week, and you all know what that means (well, if you've been prego) GLUCOSE SCREENING! Mmmm, mmm, tasty orange liquid tingling on its way down my throat. An hour of anticipating yet another NEEDLE! And then having my blood drawn. I psyched myself up for more drama than it proved to actually be, but still. Not my favorite checkup.

And then this zinger--I didn't pass! Horror of horrors. I feel like any advice I've given on this blog immediately lost all credibility. How could I boast a healthier-than-average lifestyle and then turn around and fail the glucose test? I passed last time, so this was really out of left field for me. Since then, I've learned a few interesting things:

1. If you don't pass the first time, they make you take another test to double check the results. This next test is over three hours long and requires you have your blood drawn four separate times in those three hours. Oh, and did I mention you can't eat before or during this whole process? I'm a woos when it comes to needles, but if my hubby is with me, I can make it through without passing out. But I can't justify making him take half a day off of work just to hold my hand while they stick me over and over with needles. I'll take the test sometime in the next few days . . . and I'm going to try and brave it alone. I'll keep you posted on how it all goes.

2. If you don't pass the second time, hello diet! There are all sorts of food restrictions that I would normally be excited about--forced healthy eating is a good thing, right? But since I'm prego, a lot of my food choices have been determined more by hormones and less by healthy choices. Doing a 180 in the midst of my pregnancy is not really something I'm looking forward to.

3. From the little I've read online, I don't really fall into any of the categories of people who get gestational diabetes. The only things I can relate to on the lists of symptoms or people who get it are 1. I've been more hungry this pregnancy--but not insatiable, and really not that much more than my first. 2. I'm over 30 this time. 3. I haven't been exercising regularly--but I figure chasing a two year old around and maintaining a business and semi-clean home somehow cancelled out that exercising category. I don't sit around and watch TV. I'm constantly active (except when I'm writing/editing). That's gotta count for something.

4. As I mentioned in an early post--your imagination goes wild during pregnancy, and overall it's best to stay away from books like What to Expect When You're Expecting because they primarily fill you with fear. Talk about a mental battle when you read the possible side effects of gestational diabetes. Hello! These are the moments when I'm glad I keep my faith built up even when I'm in a trial. I can't imagine dealing with this and having been slacking on building my faith.

For the record, I plan to come back to you next week and tell of a successful series of pricks that didn't cause me to pass out, and a report that the first test was wrong--I'm free and clear. Until then.

p.s. For those of you interested in a potty training update, it's still going. I now have no doubt that this process would have gone a lot faster if I had waited until my daughter was older. BUT, we've made so much progress now, I don't see the point of throwing in the towel. On the victories end, we're doing really well when we're out and about. Yesterday we went to the pool, and she told me twice she had to go! On the other hand, we're having a lot of trouble making going to the potty a priority when we're home. I've changed more poopy pants than I'd care to admit.

So . . . I know she understands the concept. I know she can alert me before she has to go. I know she can hold it until we get to a bathroom. I just don't understand why she chooses not to tell me sometimes. That's where the age factor comes into play. I think if she was a bit older, that would tie up the last missing link and we'd have this mastered by now. Until then, I just have to wait until she decides to tell me every time. I also think it'll help a lot when she sees her friends potty training. Since we started early, we're all alone when it comes to hanging out with friends that also have to use the big-girl potty. I really believe it'll help her to see other kids doing the same as she. Time will tell.

**Thought I'd include some real pictures of me and my family this time =)**

26 Weeks Prego & Still Potty Training

2010-06-24T07:22:00.000-05:00

26-Week Babycenter E-mail: 98 days to go--folks, we're down to double digits. AHHHHH!!!!

The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. He may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other. He's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he's born and takes that first gulp of air. And he's continuing to put on baby fat. He now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber) from head to heel. If you're having a boy, his testicles are beginning to descend into his scrotum — a trip that will take two to three days.

Twenty-six weeks, and I'm finally becoming a morning person again! Earlier this week I was awakened by one of those awful charley horses that could bring someone back from the dead. 5:00 AM and I felt it slowly forming in my upper calf. I literally woke up yelling, "No, no, no, NO, NOOOOOOOOO!" I mentioned it on FB and got some interesting responses. Two remedies I'd heard before: stay well-hydrated and eat bananas (lack of potassium causes the charley horses). Then, I heard one I hadn't ever heard before--put a bar of Ivory soap under your sheets at the end of the bed. Wha? I'm not a huge fan of the smell of Ivory, so I won't be experimenting to see if it works, but I had multiple friends swear it works. Have you heard of any other remedies for charley horses? Charley horses are my least favorite part of pregnancy.

Anyway, that charley horse had me wide awake, and thanks to my body practicing for nursing, I wasn't able to fall back asleep. Let's just say that was one of the most productive mornings I've had all year. Other than that morning, I've been waking up voluntarily at 6:00 AM or so. I love mornings: Quiet house. Time to do stuff I don't normally get to do (this morning I baked blueberry muffins--I love blueberry season). The cool morning air that makes it desirable to be outside. Ahhhhh.

I also have a confession to make--I never nested with baby #1. I kept waiting for it to happen--wanting it to happen, in fact. Being the Type-A that I am, I always have a to-do list calling my name. And I just knew that when I nested, I'd be superhero-size productive. But, alas, it never came. Thankfully, since it was my first pregnancy, I didn't have a little toddler running around to distract me, so I was able to accomplish quite a bit before baby #1 showed up.

This time around, since first and most of second trimester were so rough, I haven't had energy or willpower to do much of anything. The house is at a just-livable level, my nursery is far from done, etc. BUT I really want to nest this time. Think of the possibilities. I could get gobs and gobs of stuff done, cleaned out, thrown away, and take control of my house back. I got a taste of it yesterday--sorted through mountains of old mail, cleared out a junk drawer, and threw away half of a filing cabinet. Felt good. Was addicting. I'm starting to plot how to conquer the rest of my house so that it doesn't feel too small too fast. Rubbermaid storage boxes and metal shelving for our garage are about to become my new best friends. Today I may tackle a couple of hall closets. Yes! (Okay, I think it's safe to say I'm nesting.)

Potty training with my two year old continues. We've had some great victories this week--she told me she had to go, and we made it to a public restroom--that's the first time we've had a success outside of the house without me just sitting her on the potty. We've had some failures--she refuses to tell me she needs to go at the beginning of the day. And we've had some semi-victories: she tells me she needs to go, sits on the potty, but nothing comes out. And, right now our world revolves around stickers. You should hear her yell, "Sticker?!" when we check for dry pants or she goes on the potty. She gets so excited.

So, I think we're doing well. We're already into week three. We're nowhere near mastering this thing. Since I'm putting her in diapers for nap time and overnight, our time to train is limited. If she wets during a nap and at night, there's not a lot of other chances throughout the day to train. Is this normal? Should I have her nap in training pants? Plus, if we run an errand, go swimming, etc., inevitably we lose another chance because she's wearing a pull-up. Ahh, the joys.

Moms who haven't trained yet, be prepared. It could be a quick process (and I sincerely hope it is for you), but worst-case scenario, prepare yourself for the long haul. My greatest encouragement I can give you: Don't stress the accidents. It's okay if it takes longer. Just take it in stride. It only makes things worse when you're freaking out because things aren't going as planned. Plus, as many of my friends have pointed out, how many adults do you see in diapers? It all works out in the end =)

**Photo courtesy of tenaciousme**

25 Weeks Prego & Potty Training a 2 Year Old

2010-06-17T11:32:00.000-05:00

Twenty-five weeks already? Is that possible? Three measly months until baby ninja is here? Yikes!

From my email this week:

Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. Her weight — a pound and a half — isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but she's beginning to exchange her long, lean look for some baby fat. As she does, her wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and she'll start to look more and more like a newborn. She's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture.

I have no idea what a rutabaga looks like, but I know what baby fat looks like--chubby heaven! I love baby rolls and sagging baby cheeks. My first baby had the cheeks, but her arms barely could have qualified in the "wrist chubs" category. Plus, she had long, skinny legs and narrow, narrow feet--I don't think a baby shoe fit for at least three months because all baby shoes are made for short, fat feet, not long, skinny ones. So, I'm hoping for some more chubs on this baby. I'm SO curious to see how this baby looks--will baby ninja be a clone of my first child, or will baby ninja prove to look as different physically as I feel physically compared to my first pregnancy? If my eating is any indication of how fat my baby will be, I'm well on my way to producing a cute chubby bunny this time around. (BTW, I can't wait to kick this pregnancy weight in the head as soon as possible after the baby is born--My mom told me today they say in Weight Watchers, "Nothing feels better than feeling thin." I agree!)

This week has been a huge test of pregnancy brain and hormonal overload. I decided to potty train this week, which would give me a four-month buffer before baby 2 gets here. So I read my books (mainly followed Toilet Training in Less Than a Day), bought training pants and underwear (I was shocked that most people skip training pants and just use pull-ups--that seems like it'd be confusing because they're so similar to diapers), and loaded up on treats for rewarding my daughter for dry pants and going in the potty.

Well, the day before we started, our AC went out . . . again. Happens every summer, and we usually do a semi-cheap patch to get us through to the next summer; but this time I was done. We decided it was time for our 40+ year-old system to retire and a new one that actually cools our house to less than 78 degrees be purchased.

Being a the Type-A that I am, I decided that it'd be no problem to continue with potty training plans while sweating profusely at home and entertaining various AC salesmen trying to sell me a system that cost, hmm, about the price of my firstborn. Needless to say, sticky sweaty bodies means even more difficulty for my little one to learn the fine art of pulling underwear up and down, and an overheated pregnant mama does not make for a very enthusiastic and positive teacher. Again, determined to cross potty training off my list in the timeframe I had previously decided, I forged ahead.

We ended up moving in with my parents until we could sort out the AC thing, which meant I was not there 100 percent of the time for the training; so my daughter had two teachers, two houses to learn in, and, well, let's just say we weren't trained in less than a day . . . it's been a week, and we've just hit the crying, kicking, and screaming protests when we insist she go to the potty because she's doing the tell-tale tippy-toes dance on my mom's carpeted floors.

Sigh. I should've let this one go until the AC was installed, but now that I'm in the middle of it, I refuse to give up. I've been encouraged that the parents that are the most persistent are the most successful; plus, I've read more than once that starting and stopping potty training further delays progress.

I know, I know. There are tons of stories out there of people who stopped and started, and everything turned out just fine. I'm well aware of the fact that everyone's different. And, yes, I'd probably be fine if I threw in the towel and restarted at home. BUT, being a type-A, being less than four months from delivery of baby #2, and being stubborn, failure at this point is not an option. I will endure!

Well, for those of you who aren't scared off by now . . . back to pregnancy stories =) Got my first pregnancy-wake-you-from-a-dead-sleep-with-excruciating-pain charley horse last night. Whew, was that fun! Thankfully I'm not sore and hobbling the next day like I was with my first pregnancy. I've heard staying hydrated and eating bananas helps keep these things at a minimum--so I've got to up my intake of both H2O and bananas.

I'm really, really excited about having a fall baby. Holding my five-month-old niece and nephew and feeling their warm cheeks when I kiss them just makes me more excited. The nursery is nowhere near ready for this baby, but I know that really doesn't matter. But, we did take advantage of Memorial Day sales and bought a ceiling fan for the nursery. There's at least one thing I can cross off the list!

Off to eat a banana . . . that looks strangely similar to a brownie and ice cream =)

24 Weeks Prego & 2-year-old Birthday Party

2010-06-12T10:10:00.000-05:00

My email this week says:

Your baby's growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts him at just over a pound. Since he's almost a foot long (picture an ear of corn), he cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but his body is filling out proportionally and he'll soon start to plump up. His brain is also growing quickly now, and his taste buds are continuing to develop. His lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help his air sacs inflate once he hits the outside world. His skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon.

Only 112 days left (less if I deliver when I want to--about a week early). Things are really starting to feel like they're going a lot faster. Three and half months sounds like a long time, but then again, it doesn't. I'm starting to get pretty sentimental about my time with just my firstborn. A friend of mine on FB talked about being a little sentimental that her second baby was coming because it meant she wouldn't have the exclusive time with her firstborn (I can certainly relate). Everyone's comments assured her she was completely normal, and it's just as wonderful with two as it was with one. Regardless, I teared up just reading the comments. Actually, I've been tearing up a lot lately. Holy emotions! I was not this sensitive the first time around.

A (my firstborn) had her second birthday, and it was a complete success! I didn't do a party because it's too much chaos and money for something my daughter's not really going to understand anyway. Instead, we took Saturday morning and dedicated it to A. Shortly after she woke up, she opened her first present--modeling clay, crayons and colored pencils. We promptly sat down and put all of them to use. Then my hubby insisted on opening her apron--the one he picked out. She loves it! I love the modeling clay--it smells so yummy, and I don't have to worry about it going in her mouth. A used it as "food" and put it in different bowls and pans and stirred and served it to us.

The next present she opened was finger paint. We stripped down to bare essentials, headed outside, set up a huge cardboard box (leftover from my parent's kitchen remodel), and she went to town on the box. By the time she was covered in paint, we filled our kiddy pool, rinsed off with the hose, and spent the rest of the morning playing in the pool. Lunchtime came, and we opened another present (clothes), and then it was nap time.

We went out for dinner that night (A probably could have cared less), and we told her after dinner we'd go and get a cupcake. Well, that was the magic word for "don't eat your dinner and just get really hyper instead" because she spent the rest of the meal picking at her food, crawling out of the booth, asking for a cupcake every five seconds, and trying to visit all the tables surrounding us. We let her choose her cupcake flavor, carrot cake (girl after my own heart!), and when she was only halfway done, the sugar high kicked in. She spent the rest of the time running circles around our table while chanting, "Run, run, run, run, run." It was pretty hilarious.

All-in-all, a perfect choice for the two-year birthday celebration. Plus, I loved that my hubby got tons of playtime with A (something that doesn't happen often because of his work schedule). That meant more to A and to hubby than an expensive party ever could have.

22-23 Weeks Prego

2010-06-03T16:13:00.001-05:00

Yikes, this is going fast. Only 17 more weeks to go, and little mango is determined to make its presence known.

I have to admit, as I've pondered what to write about this week, I've found myself dwelling on little more than my discomfort and longing to have my body back. Mother of the Year right here! Yikes, how selfish does that sound?

These are the times I have to remind myself of the miracle of growing a baby in your belly and the fact that carrying a baby in my belly (no matter how uncomfortable I feel) is infinitely easier than carrying a real live baby that cries, poops, squirms, and demands constant attention. I'd much rather do these forty weeks with the baby warm and cozy inside of me growing in a safe environment than try a hands-on approach to growing a baby. Yikes, can you imagine? (Yikes, do I say "yikes" enough in this post?)

On a happier note, I'm getting really excited about the baby stage. I know when you're in it, it's easy to get caught up in figuring out how you can possibly get anything done around the house--but the cuddling, the sleeping on your chest, the tiny toes and fingers . . . they grow so quickly. I'm really excited to have a little tiny baby in the house again. Plus, my daughter is fully taking on the mother roll with her dolls. She shushes them on her shoulder; she reads books to them; and she generously shares her snacks and agua with them whenever they're close. My favorite observation so far is that when she puts her dolls "night night," she covers them (I mean completely covers them, head and all) with her blankets. Where'd she learn this? I promise, I have not demonstrated any baby suffocation techniques for her. And since the TV is on so little in our house (right now the only thing she watches is the sole Veggie Tales DVD that we own), I know she's not getting it from there. Who knows?

I also ordered and received my giraffe print in the mail. I'm basing my entire nursery off of this--colors and everything. I'm so excited!

Oh, and my daughter's two-year birthday is this weekend. I've chosen to play it really low key this year. I just don't see the point of going all out on a party my child will not remember. Instead we're celebrating with each side of the family during our normal Memorial Day or weekly family events. A cake (probably covered in strawberries since that's one of my girl's favorite foods) and some decorations are all we need. Instead, I've allowed myself to buy a bunch of presents . . . in fact, I had so many fun ideas I couldn't buy them all. But I figured with not spending as much on a party, I could ignore some of the budget to buy just a few more cute things!

Here's what I got:

Art supplies from Oompa (non-toxic crayons, colored pencils, and modeling clay)

A personalized apron (this was my hubby's pick but I love it too!) from Em Tanner

A few wooden puzzles from a consignment sale

Some clothes from a consignment sale =)

Tableware to add to her growing kitchen kit from Plan Toys

And a new Veggie Tales DVD so we can have a tiny bit of variety!

Here's where I finally drew the line and wouldn't let myself buy:

Birdhouse for our backyard. Don't you love the use of the knobs?

Bento box for picnic lunches

Kitchen to house all her pots, pans, and new dishes

A new doll to shush (and suffocate? ;-)

I'll try and post pictures soon!

**Above photo courtesy of joyosity**