34 Weeks Prego

**Photo courtesy of Noizyboy**

Just got a Babycenter email encouraging me to pack my bag for the hospital. I'm really conflicted on this advice.

A.) I would guess the majority of the people receiving these emails are first-time pregos. If that's the case, then the chances of them going full-term are pretty stinking good. Doesn't this just set them up for being even MORE anxious about the upcoming birth by having them pack FIVE WEEKS in advance? There's so much of a mental game during the whole pregnancy term--hearing everyone's crazy story and battling the fears that your imagination conjures up; being patient and letting your body do it's thing, yet being impatient because you're so uncomfortable and "they" say you can deliver a healthy baby as early as thirty-six weeks; "eating for two" yet not wanting to gain an exorbitant amount of weight so not sure what to eat and when; etc.--wouldn't it be more prudent to send out these emails with disclaimers or statistics.

For example, "There's a small chance (about 15 percent of you) who will go into labor in the next couple of weeks, so it may be prudent to start putting together a bag for the hospital." That way, if the person packs and then doesn't deliver the next day, they can calm themselves with the fact that they're part of the 85 percent of women who go into labor at forty weeks or later. (I completely made up this statistic for illustration purposes. Did you know 83 percent of statistics are made up anyway? Yeah, I made that up too.)

B.) Is this another sign that I'm going to have this baby early? I know everyone gets this email, but does everyone bother to read it? And does everyone get this riled up over it that they feel the need to blog about it? I'm guessing I'm in the minority here.

C.) Even if I do go into labor in the next couple of weeks, how likely is it that I won't have time to labor at home and pack my bag? I mean, seriously, we all know that most labors are over ten hours (again, I'm just guessing), so how come you couldn't use those first few hours of less intense contractions to distract yourself with some packing and prepping for the hospital?

Okay, the rant is over. I probably won't pack my bag this week or next. I figure September 4th is the soonest I'd go into labor (because that's my self-imposed deadline to finish all my editing projects), and I've got to push some of those last-minute hospital prep items off until then. I'll be fine, right? (Famous last words) We'll see how this plays out!

33 Weeks Prego

I have to be honest, I'm not so solid on my gut-instinct that it's a girl anymore. I know I told you I don't put any weight in all the "signs" people follow that show it's a boy/girl (e.g., heart rate, how you carry the baby, etc.); BUT I'm having a hard time ignoring the fact that this pregnancy is so different from my first. I know, I know. That doesn't mean anything either--I, too, have friends who had completely different pregnancies and same gender babies. It's all a mental battle, but I'm starting to think it's a boy now. Either way, I'm using "she" more often to refer to my baby; it just sounds more humane and personal than "it." And it gets me excited for a girl every time I use it, so that's definitely a major plus. Plus, I realized that the only item I bought way in advance for this baby was a girl's onesie. Perhaps it's a sign?

Another reason I think it might be a boy is my appetite has been through the roof again. I thought with a growing baby, my stomach would be shrinking; therefore, I wouldn't be able to consume as much in one sitting. I figured I would just have to eat more often. But that's not the case. I can eat . . . a lot . . . in one sitting, and thirty minutes later, I'm hungry for another meal. It's ridiculous. I know my baby's gaining more weight now, but still . . . it doesn't account for the junk I've been allowing myself to indulge in "in the name of pregnancy." I really want to gain a minimal amount of weight, and I want to have healthy eating practices established before the baby's born so it will be easier to shed this weight once the baby is here. So it's taking everything within me to resist the urge to binge on sweets and creamy deliciousness every day.

Oh, and I had my ultrasound at 34 weeks--it's not nearly as exciting as the 20 week ultrasound because the baby's so big you can't see much at once. Here's what I learned at the ultrasound:

1. Baby's already head down facing the back--GOOD!

2. Baby's already got a head of hair (see pic below). That extra think kinda wavy line around the rim of the head, yeah, that's hair.

3. Baby's measuring 5 pounds 8 ounces. Um, that's at 34 weeks! If the measurement is accurate and the baby gains the average half pound per week, we're looking at a nine pound baby again. YIKES!

Going on gut again, I know this baby is coming early. First of all, my work load freed up tremendously, so I'm taking that as a sign that I needed to wrap things up earlier so I could be ready for this baby. I'm contracting all the time--which did not happen with baby number one. I can tell my body's preparing for labor. And then there's just that gut instinct that says I'm going to go early. Ideally, I'll deliver September 11. I know, weird date to pick, but my favorite nurse is working that day =) Plus, wouldn't it be good to have new life to celebrate on that day instead of just thinking about the hurt our nation went through? I think so.

I know last week I said I'd take the measurements with a grain of salt, and many have reminded me since that the measurements are often wrong--so I'll let my body do what it needs to. September 14th is another great day because my nurse is working that day too =) Regardless, I'm not going to fear having a big baby. My body grows big babies, so it can handle birthing them too.

I can't believe I'm a month away. I've gotten a lot done (laundered clothes, cleaned car seat, organized papers, NESTED--you should see my closets!); but I've got a lot to do (finalize birth plan, finalize name options, install car seat, pack hospital bag, buy/assemble furniture, finish nursery, make "big sister" crown for my firstborn, finalize and pack big sister's stuff, etc.) . Plus, I need to finish up my work (I've still got five books in progress that I'm editing). More than enough to keep me occupied the next few weeks.

I must admit, I keep seeing myself showing up for a regular check-up and hearing my midwife say, "Are you ready to have this baby today? Because we're going to the hospital now." Hopefully that's just my imagination. I want to labor as much as possible at home . . . and I'm just not quite ready for this baby to appear. Soon, very soon though!

32 Weeks Prego

This week's babycenter email, and my reactions:

By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (I'm pretty sure my baby weighs more than that--have you seen my belly?) (pick up a large jicama--I should know what this is, but I don't) and is about 16.7 inches long (that explains the simultaneous sharp pains at the bottom of my pelvis with the poking in my ribs), taking up a lot of space in your uterus (thank you, captain obvious!). You're gaining about a pound a week (is this supposed to be new information? Doesn't the writer know I've been forced to step on a scale once a month (and now twice a month) for the last seven months?) and roughly half of that goes right to your baby (Um, where did it go before?). In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb (again, I'm pretty sure these weight and size estimates are way off--this child has been eating like a horse since day one. There's no way he/she is less than four pounds seven months later and not already cute and pudgy). She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable (respectable?!) peach fuzz) (I've heard lots of hair equals lots of heartburn. That wasn't true with my first baby, but this baby certainly has me addicted to Tums. Maybe he/she has a ton of hair too?). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth (That's nice, but again I wonder, what was it like before this week).

The more I think about this email, the more disturbing it sounds. Seriously, I used to think that these updates were cute and fascinating, but I'm beginning to wonder what it is they're leaving out. Notice they all focus on the cute stuff that is just now happening, but they tend to leave out the strange, unfamiliar details about what happened before. And, for the record, I have NO faith in these emails' estimates nor any doctor's estimates on baby size. I've seen baby sizes wrongly predicted over and over and over. I believe all babies are different and all grow differently. No one knows anything for sure until that baby pops out and is in our arms.

Which leads me to my thoughts for this week. My 34-week ultrasound is coming up. My midwife insists we measure the baby to determine if he/she's bigger than normal. While I appreciate the idea of delivering a baby that's less than 8 pounds (first baby weighed in at a shocking 8 lbs 13 oz--I had been told two days before that she looked like a 6-7 pound baby), I'm not really convinced that measuring the baby at 34 weeks is going to be helpful at all. First of all, I don't trust the measurements or "norms" that doctors tout. There are always exceptions. Number two, I'm planning on going drug free, which includes induction drugs. I trust that my body and God will know when this baby needs to come out. That's really all the assurance I need that I'll be able to deliver a healthy baby.

So, while I'm excited to see the baby again via ultrasound, and I'm especially excited to see a baby this advanced (the latest ultrasound we took for my first was at 20 weeks), I'm really not putting much weight in the measurements (no pun intended). I believe strongly in the power of words. Last time I said throughout the pregnancy that I would go into labor on a certain day, and even though I had a checkup that morning and was only half of a centimeter, I still went into labor that night. Granted, I learned a lot from that first delivery--for example, I had said when I would go into labor, but I never specified when I'd actually deliver the baby. Forty-five hours later . . . (that's not a typo), I learned my lesson. This time I'm specifying both when I'll go into labor, and when I'll have the baby--hint, they'll both be on the same day ;-)

So, back to the ultrasound, I'll go for the ultrasound, enjoy seeing my cutie pie's developing body, take with a grain of salt what my midwife says about ideal delivery dates, and pick a day that factors my midwife's recommendations in with my calendar of to-do items. I really expect to go full-term 40 weeks, but maybe I'll change my tune when this baby picks up even more pounds than he/she already has. Time will tell. I'll keep you posted.

On a side note, thanks so much for sharing your epidural stories. I've decided epidurals leading to c-sections are not necessarily regional. It seems to be the same story no matter where you live in the States. I am curious if it changes if you deliver in other countries, but who knows?

I signed up for my just-in-case epidural this week, and reading all the warnings and disclaimers (including the part that says, "this pamphlet does not list all of the warnings and risks associated with epidurals), I'm again fueled in my attempts to go drug free. It just gives me the heebie jeebies to sign off on something that has so many unknowns attached to it when I can physically handle the delivery without it. My hubby and I have also decided to go doula-less. Since my doula's not available for this pregnancy and the other doulas I know charge double her price, we've decided we can do this on our own. My hubby really is stellar--he should've been a nurse; his bedside manner is incredible. I'm feeling really confident about our decision. In the meantime, we're going to study up on pain-management techniques, and I'm going to read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth to pump me up and prepare me for the delivery. I'm so excited to be able to share a stellar birth story with you in less than two months!

31 Weeks--We're in Single Digits, People!

Nine measly weeks until Baby Ninja is here. NINE! AHHHHHHH!

This week's email says my baby's about to experience a growth spurt. I'm trying to figure out exactly how that's going to work because I already feel like I'm going to burst. I can tell that I'm carrying this baby differently than the first because I don't remember this much pressure on my lower abs before. Plus, there are times when I feel like the baby is just going to fall out--other women told me that was going to happen, but I never believed them--I'm a believer now! My midwife pointed out that since my muscles are stretched out from baby #1, I'd feel a lot more this time around, so that explains a lot of it. But I also think this baby is lower, and I think my belly is more pointed (more important things to note in case this one turns out to be a boy).

I've finally allowed myself to separate my biases and preconceived notions and just let my gut instinct talk to me. So when I quiet all the voices in my head, one thought prevails: this baby is a girl. One of my hubby's co-workers was surprised to hear I hadn't dreamt about the baby and figured out the gender. She said long before she found out the gender (she's only a couple of weeks behind me), she had dreams that it would be a boy. Well, I haven't had dreams, but I'm finally allowing myself to listen to my intuition. Before now, my two major hangups with trying to figure out the gender were #1: I know I want it to be a boy, so I couldn't separate wanting it to be a boy from thinking it is a boy. #2. I have a girl, so I only know girls. I really can't imagine anything but a girl right now. Confusing. I know! So that's why I wouldn't let myself try to guess the gender.

But the other day I was day dreaming about life with two kids, and I pictured myself with two girls. It just popped in my head. And I was really excited. I can foresee us being close, enjoying girly moments, and just "getting" each other. It felt right. My girls and I. Has a nice ring. I'll still be thrilled to have a boy, but I might start calling Baby Ninja a "she" from now on and actually acting on my instinct. We'll see.

On another pregnancy note: braxton hicks contractions have begun. Yeeouch! I didn't have these with my first pregnancy, but the first time I felt one this time around, I immediately flashed back to walking the halls of the hospital trying to weather the pain and get my cervix to dilate with my first baby. I know it's common to feel contractions this early, but anyone besides me have ones that were pretty painful? For those of you who haven't experienced them, the best way I can describe them is a creeping pain (like menstrual cramps) that continues to escalate until all of the muscles around your uterus are rock hard. They're not always that painful, but the muscles around my uterus are certainly getting a workout from tightening so often.

Survey time! How common is it around you to have an epidural and avoid a c-section? I know c-sections in general are on the rise, but a friend of mine pointed out that I was one of two friends she knew of who had an epidural and didn't end up in a c-section. I found that fascinating because here in OK (at least among my friends), it's really common for people to have an epidural and not end up in a c-section; but in MI, it's the opposite. Help me out with a mini-survey here. In the comments, let me know where you're from, if you had an epidural, and if you ended up in a c-section. Feel free to add what your friends have experienced, too, so I can get a better sense of your area. Thanks so much, dear readers. I really appreciate all the feedback and advice you've given me along the way.

And finally, confession time. I'm putting potty training on hold. As I burrow into the ground (should be in China by next week), I have to admit, this isn't going well. She's just not interested. So, I'm going to take the advice I've been resisting for so long--I'm going to take a break. I'm not sure if it will be a week, two weeks, or more; but I'm going to start using diapers again. After a week of absolutely no progress (in fact, now she smiles when she tells me she peed her pants and proudly points out the puddle she left behind), I've decided this is counterproductive. Sigh. I will not have one of those inspiring stories to tell the new moms in the near future. Instead, I will be one of those humans (as opposed to super-moms) who admits all sorts of failures along the long journey to potty training. I realize I'm being extremely dramatic, but giving up is so little a part of my life that this is really hard to admit--especially with it being so public since I'm posting it online. Ah well, life goes on. =)

30 Weeks . . . and still trucking!

I'm convinced my little head of cabbage is going to be proficient in somersaulting before he/she can hold up its head or crawl. This booger loves to move!

Other than the fact that I'm slower getting up and down from a seated position, and I need a lower-back rub every fifteen minutes, I'm feeling pretty good. The nursery is painted, and I'm starting to believe this child is actually going to fit in our house. My two year old is hugging and kissing my belly more and more; and she loves to point to my protruding bellybutton and ask, "Is this the baby?"

This has been a rough week for potty training. A has decided that she just doesn't want to tell us anymore if she has to go or not. We were doing so well, and then we fell flat on our faces. I finally started using the timer method--just set the timer and have her try when it beeps. My mom commented that it was like training Pavlov's dog, which it is . . . but, she usually won't fight the timer like she will if I ask her to to go. The timer will go off, and she'll say, "That my beep? Time to go potty!"

I asked the pediatrician about how long it's taking, and he said since we started early, don't fight her. Let her do it as she's ready. So, I was getting stressed and frustrated, but I've let it go again, and I just try to celebrate the heck out of the victories. I've given in to the fact that we'll be buying a few more packages of pull-ups (I wanted to be one of those moms that didn't even finish the first package before her daughter was potty trained. Fail.)

As far as being a work-at-home mom, I'm really looking forward to my maternity leave. I've found myself wondering what it's like to have my child take a nap, and I could take one too. (I admit, I've snuck a few more in lately but not without a creeping guilt thinking about what I should be getting done.) I fully intend to relax, not let the house and other daily chores stress me out, and really use my maternity leave as a time to rest, recover, start getting my body back in shape, create a schedule, and enjoy my family of four. I do have one primary goal that's work related for my maternity leave: set up a website for my business. I fully intend to hire someone to design and run the website; I just need to take the time to hire someone. Expect this blog to be linked to much more in January!

I'd encourage any WAHM to not shy away from taking a decent amount of time off for maternity leave. I'll be honest, I was worried about losing the momentum my business is experiencing now, but I've found that the more I commit to making my family a priority, the more projects role in. I've already turned down quite a few jobs that I just can't take because I'm booked through my delivery date. AND I've already got quite a few jobs lined up for January 1st, so I can jump right back in with plenty of work. I love being able to sow good seeds and recommend my friends to jobs I can't take. And I truly believe in the blessing of following the principle of the sabbath. I'd highly recommend taking some time to listen to this message (click on "Closed on Sunday" from July 14) which explains it. Download it on your iTunes. You won't regret it.

Nesting 101 (29 Weeks)

Photo courtesy of Alan Vernon

Ahhhhh, this is the life! I love, love, love nesting! It's almost as satisfying as moving into a new space and finding the perfect place for each and every thing. That feeling of organization. That feeling of clean. Ahhh, the good life. Wouldn't it be great if your body started nesting whenever you had to pack up your house and move? I really think the whole process would be so much more enjoyable if you were nesting . . . perhaps you could time your move with nesting . . . perhaps not.

As I mentioned before, I never nested with my first pregnancy, so this is a new stage for me. It started with the hall closets, the tiny tiny hall closets that have been overflowing since the second week we've lived in this house. It's amazing how much junk I managed to cram in those little shelves. But four garbage bags later, order has resumed and now I don't cringe if a guest comes over and happens to peek inside.

I've also carried bags and bags of junk out of the future nursery. While it may not look much cleaner, there ARE empty shelves where before there were none, and the closet can be opened without a pile of miscellaneous-don't-know-where-to-put-them items come cascading down on you. In the middle of the room is a huge pile of pillows--mainly throw pillows. I rotate my throw pillows, so I can't put them all out at once. But they're SO space-consuming! I've decided to purchase some magical vacuum-seal bags and somehow turn my mountain of pillows and miscellaneous bedding into an anthill of items that only take a small corner of my attic to store.

Today the laundry room/bathrooms were my next victims. Again, three trash bags later, order has resumed. I can't believe the stuff I was keeping. Gross! There's actually an empty drawer and half of an empty shelf leftover. I get so excited when I find ways to properly store more stuff, and I still have room leftover for the baby. Okay, a drawer and half of a shelf may not be quite enough for adding one more human, but it sure seems a lot more manageable now.

I'll probably tackle more of the nursery next--need to pick a paint color and get the room painted! Then I can start craigslisting some used furniture. I also need to start stocking up on baskets. I feel so much more organized when everything is compartmentalized in baskets on shelves.

Potty Training Update:

I'm not even sure which week we're on now. We're definitely having some great successes. I still wouldn't consider her "potty trained," and I certainly don't leave home without a pull-up on (but now we're putting it over her undies so she still feels the consequences); but we're definitely heading in a good direction. I'm excited to start moving the cloth diapers into the nursery. Oh, and did you see? BumGenius (our fav cloth diapers) came out with version 4.0! Oh baby, can't wait to try them. Gotta go update my registry now.

Random Charley Horse Factoid:

If you feel a charley horse coming on, don't point your toes! Pull your toes forward toward your knees. It sounds ridiculous, but it's really helped me. In fact, I haven't had a charley horse since I started doing it.

Nursery Update

Bonus post: I'm just so excited about my nursery plans, I had to share!

Nesting has morphed into motivation to work on my nursery. I've been shopping, organizing, and for the first time in my life, trying paint samples (instead of just holding the little cards up to the wall).

Okay, so here's the run down so far.

This is the print we bought to base the colors/theme off of:

This is the nursery that I'm using as inspiration. Simple. Fun. Not too babyish. I'm going to paint some of my frames the red/orange in my giraffe print to match this nursery. I'm still on the prowl for an appropriate wooden or stuffed giraffe. Any suggestions?

And I just entered this giveaway for bedding that would just make me giddy, but I wouldn't justify spending this much (at least for this baby). If you want to enter on my behalf and send your winnings my way, I'd greatly appreciate it ;-) And isn't that rug fabulous?!

Paint colors: We're either going to do a really really light version of the green (on the sample it almost looks white) or a darker beige that matches the browner spots on the print.

I bought baskets galore at Hobby Lobby's 50 percent off sale, and I'm filling my built-in bookshelf with those for more storage--it's a tiny room, so I have to utilize all the space I can.

Next decisions:

1. The closet lost some space because of the built-in bookshelves, so I'm debating a shelving system inside again for more space, or just a bar and top shelf so I can stack rubbermaid boxes along the floor.

2. Furniture: I only need a dresser and crib. White or a light colored wood? Here's my dilemma: Currently the room has a cherry wood floor & ceiling fan, maple book shelves, and black wooden desk. The trim and built-in shelves are white. And as I mentioned earlier, I'm going to paint my frames red. I think we'll either go with white or a lighter wood stain. What do you think? I'm looking to buy used, so it might just be decided by what I can find.

Tonight we prep the room for painting. Can't wait!