Goodbye, Paci!

I apologize for my absence last week. We got hit hard with the blizzard, and things just didn't go as planned. You'd think with my hubby home I'd be able to get more done, but such was not the case. I plan to blog about our preschool decision soon. I really appreciated all of your insight! Until then . . . my victory over the paci!

This is my second baby sporting her paci on day two of her life . . . she has since lost interest, and I have no desire to introduce it to her again. I'll let you know if that changes ;-)

When I found out I was pregnant and my second child would be twenty-eight months younger than my first, I immediately began a list of milestones I wanted my eldest to accomplish before this baby came along.

1. Get rid of the paci.

2. Change to a toddler bed.

3. Potty train. (Read about my attempts here, here, here, here, and when I decided to stop here.) (I'll blog about my actual success soon.)

When the baby came, I had attempted 2 & 3, but only accomplished to change to a toddler bed. Having been so unsuccessful in accomplishing my list, I gave up trying and just waited for baby #2 to come.

Baby #2 came, and many things changed with my eldest. She had spectacular public meltdowns. She couldn't seem to keep her finger out of the newborn's eye. And she started owning the term "big sister."

Lesson 1: Talk is not cheap--it's invaluable. Both getting rid of the paci and potty training were possible because of incessant talk. Any opportunity my hubby and I had, we talked about getting rid of the paci. We told her babies use pacis, not big girls. We encouraged her to throw her paci away. We called it yucky and made a big deal of every time it fell on the floor. We went overboard stressing that Baby M used a paci because she was a baby, and now it was time for A to be a big girl and throw hers away.

Lesson 2: Sugar works. I swore I would never be that mom. You know, the one who uses candy and treats laden with the evil HFCS to motivate my children to do anything. But (and I'll talk about this more with potty training), when my daughter expressed an interest in chewing gum, we added it on to the growing list of incentives of things she could do after she threw away her paci (for a while we could put off any and every thing by just saying, "If you throw away your paci, you can do that . . . and for a long time, the paci was more important). So we told her only big girls who throw away their pacis can chew gum, and that's the one that made the difference. Every time she saw gum she'd say, "I can chew that when I throw away my paci?" And, one night she said she wanted gum. We told her she'd have to throw away her paci first.

So, she went to her bed, grabbed the paci, and threw it in the bathroom trash. I made sure we made a big deal of it and said goodbye to the paci. Then I had her watch as my hubby bagged the trash and took it outside (no dumpster diving for my toddler). Then we celebrated, rejoiced, made a huge deal out of it, and let her chew a piece of gum, which she promptly chewed twice and swallowed.

She asked for it a few times after that, but since she had seen us take the trash out, we'd just ask her, "Where's your paci?" and she'd answer,

"In the trash."

And we'd explain that we couldn't get it back after it was in the trash. There was little resistance after that.

Lesson 3: Maturity is a factor. For my daughter, she needed to be able to comprehend a few key points:

1. The difference (and importance) of a big girl versus a baby

2. The concept of throwing something away

3. The concept of a reward she's never had

If she didn't understand these points, reasoning with her afterward would've been impossible.

So, goodbye, paci. I will not miss searching for you in a sea of blankets and stuffed animals. I will not miss midnight searches for you because you bounced out of bed and were hiding camoflauged on my dark concrete floors. I will not miss the shame I felt when my two year old still needed you to go to sleep. And I will not miss your high price tag (since we opted for the natural rubber kind).

17 Weeks Prego

Ahhh, transitions. I've been thinking about them a lot lately. It's funny how most transitions seem unreasonable therefore we dread dealing with them; but they inevitably turn out to be easier than we imagined, and the results are something we swear we would now never live without. This dialogue parallels nicely with my new morning ritual of planting seeds and preparing my yard for the summer. I find that my little girl is not quite old enough to be excited about the new seeds sprouting through the soil; yet I'm more-than-ever-before impatient to see those little buds break through. You'd think I was the two year old here!

As a mom I'm thinking this in particular in regards to changing nap times, changing food preferences, getting rid of the paci, potty training, changing to a toddler bed, even experiencing a newborn transition from crawling to walking. I dread/have dreaded all of these changes, but without fail I've come out with a greater appreciation for the new and an unexpected willingness to let go of the old.

That said, I have three big transitions that I want to glide through before baby #2 arrives: potty training, eliminating the paci, and changing to a toddler bed. Again, moms, I implore you to offer your advice. My questions, in no particular order, are:

1. Did you follow a method/book for potty training? Did it work?

2. Which order would you do these three in? (My daughter is almost two. She's shown all the signs of being ready to potty train.) For example, a friend suggested I potty train, then get rid of the paci, and finally transition to a big girl bed. Your thoughts?

3. If I have to give up one (which would be really hard for me to accept because of my type-A-ness that screams, "If it's on the to-do list to finish before baby #2, it better be done!"), which would you recommend?

So far I've read On Becoming Pottywise. Next on my list is Potty Training in a Day which I believe is going to be very similar. Any other titles I should peruse before taking on the challenge? I must admit, with every book I read, I find myself skimming the parts of the book I know I don't agree with. I doubt there's a parenting book out there that I'd follow 100 percent, but I think it's important to do your research, glean the good stuff, and let your mother's intuition guide you.

As for baby turnip, he/she is moving A LOT. I try to get my hubby to feel it, but while the kicks are prominent in my mind, they're not quite strong enough to be felt through the layer of leftover baby fat courtesy of baby #1. I feel the same as week 16--creeping nausea; but I've decided to ignore it and continue life as if not prego. This has translated to hours of yard work followed by even longer hours of sitting, catching my breath, and self-deprecating inner dialogue for being such a woos.

On a completely unrelated note, garage sale season is upon us! I've already got my list of baby "must-haves" that I avoided the first pregnancy, wished I had, but never got the courage to drop the money and go ahead and buy. The answer: buy it all used for baby #2! I'm looking for a Bumbo, Boppy, bouncy seat, and monitor primarily. A co-sleeper in good condition would be great too. I'll probably go with new, but I need an infant carrier, crib & mattress, and double stroller as well. If you see any good leads on Craigslist, let me know! :)