We had our ultrasound the other day. I was so nervous that two babies were going to pop up on the screen; I even felt it necessary to warn the tech that there might be two babies. She took it in stride, I covered my eyes, and when the first image popped up, my husband exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, there's two!" I peeked at the tech through my fingers, and she calmly shook her head and said, "There's just one." Relief. Relaxation. Deep breath. Sigh. Whew. One baby. I can handle that. When we got to hear the heartbeat, then I cried. It's such a miracle--it will always catch my breath.
Some more random thoughts at ten weeks:
One of my fav creative-mom blogs to follow is Design Mom. Since she's pregnant, too, Wednesdays are devoted to stories from other moms about deliveries, babies, etc. This week's group of posts had me both laughing and crying--I blame the hormones, but seriously, the second story had tears streaming down my face! And the first story was so funny I made my husband sit and listen to the entire thing as I read it aloud.
This pregnancy isn't too different from my first, but one thing I have noticed that counts a lot more are affirmations from friends . . . and even from strangers. I love following this mom on Twitter because she has daily pregnancy affirmations. I think today's is "I like to dance with my baby." Whether it's your first pregnancy or your fourth, be prepared for your thoughts to run wild during pregnancy. I've found that my imagination tends to go on hyper speed when I'm pregnant, and issues like dealing with fear (something that I generally stay away from) become more poignant and challenging to face.
There's a million and one stories out there for both perfect pregnancies and terrible horrible sad endings. I've found that the more bad stuff I read, the more fear I have to deal with. In fact, during my first pregnancy, this was the reason I had to put down What to Expect When You're Expecting because I felt like each week I walked away with a new list of sicknesses, aches, pains, uncomfortable changes, and possible complications to expect. There is a lot of good information in the book, too, but I personally I had a hard time sifting through the bad to find the good. It's also one of the reasons I was more drawn to attachment parenting style books. They were full of positive attitudes and encouragements to trust that your body knows what it's doing. I found that very comforting in the midst of all I was going through. In the end, I came out of my reading frenzy with a good mix of parenting books (not all attachment parenting, not all medical, etc. I'm sure I'll share more of my fav titles later.)
All that to say, be aware that you're imagination is amped up quite a bit; and be responsible about what you choose to read. I'm all about being informed, and my brain was chock full of information before I went to the hospital to deliver my first one. I just had to be deliberate in tipping the scales to favor the positive stuff during my reading and learning time.
Because I'm still dealing with nausea, I've had a remarkable amount of couch time this pregnancy. I have a daily schedule of TV shows I keep on in the background to make the time go faster--and I've only got ten channels, so despite the slim pickings, I've been able to find stuff to watch. The Price Is Right is one of my daily shows--I think I cry each time someone wins. Hormones. Ok, maybe I cried before I got pregnant too. What a sap!
And with the couch time comes the daily inner dialogue/argument between two voices: Type-A Voice (gotta get things done! conquer! conquer!) and Carpe Diem voice (take care of your baby, relax, enjoy the process). Most days the argument goes something like this:
T-AV: You should get up and at least do prenatal yoga. You already skipped your kickboxing class this morning.
CDV: You're body is telling you you're tired. Listen to it.
TAV: It only takes one week to get out of shape. You're muscles will be marshmallows before you even get to second trimester.
CDV: You're making a baby. Give your body a break. Some women are confined to bed rest by this point, and they can still walk and function normally when their child is born.
TAV: You want to be one of those people who can tell others you stayed active during your pregnancy. Plus, if you don't get up, all that food you're eating is going to go straight to your behind.
CDV: You're not an invalid. You do get around. Relax. Sleep is good for you.
TAV: See, your heart is racing and all you did was get up to go the bathroom. You're already out of shape.
CDV: You made it through a kickboxing class just the other day. You're fine. Breathe.
Sound familiar? I'm guessing I'm not alone . . . I hope not :) This is where my hubby and I differ. If he's sick, there's no argument in his head trying to get his sick body to finish a to-do list. He's perfectly content to snuggle under a blanket and succumb to hours of mindless TV watching. I like to snuggle, too, but only for a few minutes--then I'm either uncomfortable or I think of something that "can't wait" so I jump up to do it.
There's a happy medium. I think it's time to find it. Perhaps I should take a nap :)